


Sleep Well, Dream Sweet

by kyungscultleader



Series: Dream A Little Dream of Me [1]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: Badly edited, I have others that are much better, I hope I didn't miss anything, I was young, M/M, but nothing explicit happens, idk why this fic gets so much love, lots of fluff, mentions of child abuse, originally posted to asianfanfics, probably badly written, there is a lot of reference to suicide, they have sex in one or two chapters, yongguk is older than zelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:25:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyungscultleader/pseuds/kyungscultleader
Summary: Yoo Youngjae is a lonely boy from Seoul. Tired of living his pointless life, he attempts suicide. To the relief of his best and only friend Choi Junhong aka Zelo, he survives. The only problem is he's left in a coma and doctors don't know if he'll ever wake up.Jung Daehyun is a boy from Busan who wants nothing more than to find someone to love and cherish. He was always a flirty person who men and women alike fell head over heels for. That changed though, when Daehyun started to fall in love with a boy from his dreams. A boy named Yoo Youngjae.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "We dream so we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time."- A.A. Milne
> 
>  
> 
> In the middle of a cold night in June, a lonely boy named Yoo Youngjae sat in his dark room thinking about his life. The only light in the room came from the moonlight shining in from the open window and the only sound that could be heard were those of the boy's alcoholic parents fighting in another room and Youngjae's sobs.
> 
> He sat on the floor, cross-legged. Taking one last glance at the razor in his left hand, he picked up a pen with his shaky right one. He put the pen to his diary before him and wrote a letter to his only friend, Choi Junhong. He knew this would upset the younger, they only had each other, but Youngjae couldn't take any more. His parents were alcoholics. His father beat him and his mother just continued on as if nothing was happening. He was bullied at school for his baby-fat. He was excluded from activities at school for being 'too smart'. His house never had hot water or electricity because his so-called parents used up all of their money on more booze. He had nothing left to give.
> 
> He looked down at the razor again. He'd never cut before. He didn't want to harm himself for only a brief relief. He knew none of this was his fault. He was just another casualty in life's endless war with humanity. No, if he was going to do this, he would do it once and do it right. Just a few clean cuts straight down his wrists should do it. He inhaled deeply and exhaled nervously. It wasn't a scared kind of nervous. It was a happy kind of nervous. The kind of nervousness that he'd seen people feeling before dates. Youngjae chuckled to himself.
> 
> 'My first date will be with death.' He thought.
> 
> He brought the blade to his wrist and dragged it down. The cut was slightly wobbly but that didn't bother Youngjae. He was nowhere near perfect in life, why should his death be any different? Another cut and he could start to feel himself lose energy. A few more and his vision was fading away. He sighed in contempt. Not long until all of his torment would be over.
> 
> "Forgive me, Junhong." He whispered to his best friend. He felt better saying it, even though he knew full we'll that Zelo couldn't hear him.
> 
> Just one more deep cut and Youngjae felt himself be let go. He became lightheaded. Closing his eyes, he happily dropped to the floor. His heartbeat slowed and his mind silenced.

_Dear Junhong,_

_I'm not sorry I did this. I'm only sorry that I left you alone. I don't want you to be sad. I'm happy now, so you deserve to be too. I know you'll miss me. I'll miss you too._

_Please don't cry for me. Please don't be sad for me. Think about all of the good times we had. Remember the day we first met? You dropped your comic book and I said I had the same one. That was the start of our friendship. Think of that. Remember me when I was happy and full of life. Don't remember me by all the times I stayed at your house, crying until the early hours of the morning because I couldn't handle my life._

_Please don't hate me._

_No matter where I am you'll forever be my dongsaeng, my best friend, the one that I can always count on and for that, I'm grateful. I love you Zelo. Never forget that. Never forget me._

_Youngjae_

Zelo sobbed as he sat by Youngjae's hospital bed, reading that goddamn letter for the billionth time. He was so lucky that he found him. If Zelo hadn't gone to Youngjae's house, like he did every morning, so they could walk to school together, like they did every morning, he would not have found his best friend lying on the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own blood.

_"Youngjae! No! Youngjae!" Zelo shouted as he shook his friend, trying desperately to wake him up._

"You have to wake up Youngjae." The younger said taking his friends hand. It was cold. It wasn't warm like it used to be.  _He_  wasn't warm like he used to be.

_Please don't cry for me._

Too late.

_Please don't be sad for me._

How can he not be?

_Please don't hate me._

He could never hate Youngjae.

_I love you Zelo._

' _I love you too, Youngjae hyung.'_

• • • • • •

"Come on Daehyunnie, stay for one more drink." The young waitress asked the Busan beauty cutely. "My shift ends in fifteen minutes. We can get to know each other better." She finished with a wink.

Daehyun smiled. Every time, she asked him, and every time, he gave her the same answer.

"I can't. I'm still waiting."

She pouted. "What are you always waiting for?"

Daehyun never told her. He just smirked and then winked and then left her the money for his drinks and her tip and then left. The girl huffed and continued waiting on tables

Daehyun knew what he was waiting for. He was waiting for that someone special who made his heart beat faster and gave him a funny feeling in his stomach. When he met that person, then he'd stay for another drink. Then he'd let himself indulge in another's body. He's not like he used to be, not anymore. His best friend, Bang Yongguk, got his heart broken once and now, he only cares about one thing; sex. He could care less about finding someone to settle down with because " _people only hurt you_ " and every night, he would go home with someone new. Guy or girl, it didn't matter to Yongguk. Daehyun pitied him, but soon realised Daehyun  _was_  him. Taking home someone else every night, guy or girl, because he knew he was attractive and didn't want to fall asleep alone. Since then, Daehyun has sworn to remain celibate until he finds someone he loves. Someone who he can cuddle in his arms at night and wake up to in the morning. Someone he can say cheesy things to. Someone who he would even share his beloved cheesecake with. He wanted that now. So Daehyun waited.

It was pretty late by the time Daehyun got back to his small - empty - apartment. He shrugged off his winter coat and hung it up by the door. He slouched into the bathroom to brush his teeth before making his way back to his room. He changed into a pair of plain blue pyjama pants and a shirt before walking over to his big - empty - bed. Daehyun buried himself under the warm covers and let his tired head rest on the comfortable pillow. Slowly, he fell asleep.

~~~~~~

Daehyun opened his eyes with a sigh and glanced at the clock.

**3:47am**

Why was he awake this early? He had no idea. He couldn't sleep. So, being awake and full of energy, he pulled the covers off of him and stepped out of bed. He walked over to his bedroom door, intending to go to the kitchen for a glass of water, but when he opened it, he was standing in the middle of some sort of forest area.

"Okay..." He mumbled slowly to himself and went to go back in his room but the door was no longer there. "What the hell? Obviously, I'm dreaming."

He looked around. He was standing in a small opening that was surrounded by large green trees. Oaks, evergreens, willows, pines; every tree you could think of. There were a lot of flowers here, too. Lilies, daffodils, roses, orchids. The grass was green and perfectly mown. In fact, everything seemed too vibrant to be real. From the deep brown tree trunks to the bright green leaves to the blinding yellow roses to the intense pink orchids. The place was truly beautiful. If Daehyun listened closely, he could hear a stream flowing. In harmony with the birds singing, it was a soothing sound. The Busan boy looked up at the cloudless, blue sky and sighed.

"If only this place was real." He murmured. "It's truly beautiful."

And it was. The whole place screamed 'romance'. Once again, it made Daehyun wish he had someone special to share it with - if it wasn't a dream of course.

Daehyun was snapped out of his musings when he heard something coming from behind the trees.

"Hello~" Daehyun called out, hoping his dream wasn't turning into a nightmare. "Whose there?"

Silence followed.

"I know you're there!" He tried again. Nothing. Suddenly something moved again. It ran through the trees so fast Daehyun could barely follow it. It hid behind one of the large trees and Daehyun realised something; it was scared.

"It's alright," Daehyun softened up "I won't hurt you. You can come out."

It seemed to work. Daehyun watched closely as it stepped out of the shade. Daehyun's eyes widened. Stepping into the too-bright light of the circle, was the most beautiful boy Daehyun had ever seen. Every part of him was gorgeous. He had cute chubby cheeks that Daehyun just wanted to pinch. Big doe-like brown eyes that Daehyun wanted to get lost in. Soft brown hair that Daehyun wanted to run his hands through. Plump pink lips that Daehyun wanted to taste. The scared-looking boy couldn't have been any older than Daehyun himself. He was wearing black skinny jeans that hugged every curve in the boys’ legs perfectly, and a loose-fitting grey sweater. Daehyun's mouth went dry and he felt his heart beat sped up.

"Hi." Daehyun spoke quietly to the piece of perfection before him. "I'm Daehyun."

"H-hi." The other replied, bowing ninety degrees respectfully. "I'm Youngjae... I think."

Daehyun frowned in confusion. "What do you mean, 'you think'? Don't you know your name?"

"I don't remember much, but I think that's my name. It's all pretty foggy right now. Um, where - where am I?"

Daehyun nodded dumbly, only thinking about the how the boy's voice was smooth and like honey. It took him a moment to realise Youngjae asked him a question.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure. I don't even think it’s real. I'm dreaming." Daehyun answered and the scared look on the Youngjae's face became more relaxed.

"So, I'm not real?" He asked calmly.

"I - I mean - you -" Daehyun stammered, not sure what to say.

"It's okay." Youngjae said, his face emotionless. "I have to go now."

"No, wait!" Daehyun called after him once he started moving back towards the trees.

Youngjae turned to face Daehyun. "Goodbye, Daehyun."

Daehyun nearly died hearing his name coming from those taunting lips.

"Wait!" He yelled again, not wanting Youngjae to leave, but he was too late.

~~~~~~

"Wait!" Daehyun shouted, sitting up in his bed. He looked around frantically, though not quite sure what he was looking for. His breathing calmed and he let himself fall back down onto his bed.

' _It was just a dream_.' He thought disappointedly. ' _Youngjae isn't real_.'


	2. Chapter 2

"Dude, you look like crap." Yongguk said as he sat down across from Daehyun. They were at the café they always go to on Sunday mornings. It was the epitome of winter outside, so Daehyun was glad their usual table was tucked away in the warm corner of the cafe. Every Sunday, they would meet at this café, at this table, and they would talk about their lives. It may sound stupid, but it helped them. It helped them find focus and not give up on their dreams.

"Yeah, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Daehyun told him, wiping a hand over his tired face. 

"Did you finally take that waitress up on her offer?" Yongguk wiggled his eyebrows.

Daehyun rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Nope. Still waiting."

This time, Yongguk shook his head. "Man, that's a waste. She's hot and you need to get laid. It's been over a year."

"If you think she's hot, you can have her."

"I've tried. She ain't interested."

"Wow! Someone can resist the charms of the sex god Bang Yongguk?" Daehyun retorted, his voice laced with amused sarcasm.

Yongguk glared at him. "Yeah, yeah."

A waitress came to take their orders. Yongguk ordered a regular black coffee. Daehyun ordered a caramel latte and, of course, a slice of cheesecake. She smiled and said she'd be back with their orders, winking at Yongguk before she left. The older stared at the retreating waitress for a few moments before turning back to his best friend.

"Anyway, why was your sleep so bad?" Yongguk questioned.

"Just the dream I had." He answered simply.

"Okay, could you be a little more vague please?" The elder quipped.

"It sounds crazy. Doesn't matter."

"It's bothering you, Dae. It matters. Tell me."

"I was in this really beautiful place. I think it was a forest. And then there was this boy -"

"Oh~ I see..." Yongguk said suggestively.

"What? Yongguk, no! It wasn't one of those dreams." Daehyun couldn't stop the images of Youngjae moaning beneath him from running through his mind. He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. "Can you stop thinking about sex for one minute?"

"I'll try." Yongguk shrugged. "Continue."

"Anyway, he said he thinks his name is Youngjae. He was lost. I mean, I didn't know why I was in a random forest but, hey, it was my dream, you know? But he seemed like... Like he didn't even know why he was alive." Daehyun explained.

"Okay, so you dreamt about some guy who was lost. So?"

"I don't know." Daehyun leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "He was just so real. I keep feeling like... I don't know. I can't explain it."

Before Yongguk could comment further, the waitress came back. She placed Daehyun's latte an cheesecake before him. Daehyun eyed his cheesecake intensely, momentarily forgetting about the pretty boy from his dream. The waitress gave Yongguk his coffee and a napkin with her number on it.

"So, what about you?" Daehyun asked, his mouth full of cheesecake. He swallowed the delicious food before continuing. "Any luck with the job?"

"Nope." Yongguk said bitterly. "They said they didn't want to work with someone inexperienced."

Yongguk was trying to become a music producer. No one ever took him though, saying that he was too inexperienced.

"How can you get experience if no one will take you?" Daehyun frowned. Yongguk shook his head and shrugged.

"I've got another interview tomorrow."

"With who?"

"TS Entertainment. It's in Seoul." Yongguk glanced at his watch. "I should probably get going. I need to finish these tracks before I go to TS tomorrow." Yongguk left some money on the table and stood up.

"Good luck hyung. I hope they accept you." Daehyun said and waved goodbye to Yongguk as he left.

Daehyun decided to stay there for a little longer. He looked around him. There were couples everywhere. People holding hands, kissing, feeding each other, just being generally coupley. Daehyun couldn't wait for the day he could be like that with someone. He would stay patient, though. He refused to lose hope. He would find someone to like him for more than his looks.

The Busan boy placed some money on the table and started to make his way home. The wind was cold against his face, but he didn't mind. He looked up at the sky and saw dark storm clouds rolling in. He picked up his pace, deciding to hurry home so he wasn't caught in the downpour. He reached his house just in time. Thunder clapped as he closed the door. Since he had nothing better to do, he walked into his living room to watch a DVD. Unfortunately that plan didn't work out as there was no power due to the storm. Daehyun sighed and sat on the couch. The room was dark and everything was silent. Usually, his apartment was quiet but it was never silent. There was no buzzing of the refrigerator, no hum coming from the ceiling fan. Nothing. He hummed to himself, just for some sense of noise. Daehyun sat, bored, alone in the dark, silent room and unknowingly hummed himself to sleep.

~~~~~~

Daehyun's eyes snapped open to find himself standing in the forest again. Everything as the same as last time. Except Youngjae. This time, instead of hiding, Youngjae was sitting in the centre of the grassy area playing with a yellow rose. Daehyun noted that he looked just as perfect as he did yesterday. The scene before him was so innocent. Youngjae looked adorable as he inspected each bright petal one-by-one.

"Uh, Youngjae?" Daehyun finally spoke up. It got the younger's attention as he jumped up to a standing position at the sudden noise. He looked at Daehyun with an unsure gaze. "Um... Hello."

"H-hello Daehyun hyung." Youngjae offered weakly, followed by a bow.

"You don't need to bow." Daehyun have him a small smile.

"Okay." Youngjae said quietly.

The two of them just stood there, staring at each other. It was as if they were trying to figure each other out. Which, in a way, they were. They were both trying to figure out why the other was in their dream. It was unlikely to dream of a stranger a first time, but to dream of meeting that stranger in the same place as past time was even more improbable. Their gazes were broken when a loud boom of thunder echoed around them. Youngjae yelped and held his hands over his head. Daehyun noticed this and took a step closer to the younger.

"Are you afraid of storms?" He asked, looking at the sky above them. What was blue and cloudless last night now had large black and grey storm clouds covering it. Youngjae nodded and nearly jumped onto Daehyun when the loud noise came again. "Sorry, that's probably my fault. I fell asleep in a storm."

Youngjae either didn't care or didn't hear him as he moved closer to Daehyun when a sheet of lightning covered the sky. Daehyun wrapped his arms around the younger, a silent way of saying "I'll protect you".

' _Aish, it'd be great if there was a cabin or something we could hide in._ ' Daehyun though looking around at the vast forest. Right now he was more worried about the younger boy than himself. He could stand storms. If it started to rain, he would just find shelter under a tree. But Youngjae was  _terrified._ Daehyun wasn't sure why, but he hated seeing Youngjae look so scared and helpless.

Daehyun looked down at the boy in his arms. All he wanted to do was make him feel better. He wanted Youngjae to feel safe. When he looked back up, where two large birch trees once stood, was now a small, cosy-looking cabin. It was made out of logs and looked like one you'd find at a fancy, romantic, ski resort.

"Come on, Jae." Daehyun said taking Youngjae's hand and leading him towards the cabin. Youngjae blushed at the nickname the elder gave him but said nothing. He secretly liked the way Daehyun treated him. He's never been treated with such care before in his life. The Busan boy acted like he was porcelain; that would break at the slightest touch, whereas most people treated him like iron; he wouldn't break no matter how hard you pushed him, but it was still fun to try.

Daehyun opened the door to the cabin. Inside the first room there was just a simple, brown suede couch, a fluffy white rug on the hardwood floor, and a lit fireplace. Daehyun went into the next room and saw that it was a kitchen with just a refrigerator and a small microwave oven. Off to the side of the kitchen area was a little square table with two chairs. There were two more doors. Inside one was a dresser and a king size bed (that made both boys blush deep red) and in the other was a tiny bathroom.

Daehyun led Youngjae back to the couch and sat down on it, dragging the other with him. Letting go of Youngjae's hand, he wrapped that arm around his shoulders instead. He cuddled Youngjae up to him as they sat before the warm fire, hiding away from the storm raging outside.

"W-what are you doing?" Youngjae asked nervously. Daehyun only gave him a small, yet reassuring, smile. Youngjae inhaled deeply and let his head rest on Daehyun's shoulder. He listened to Daehyun's calm breathing and the thunder and rain and lightning suddenly didn't matter anymore. It was only the two of them.

Daehyun closed his eyes, loving having Youngjae this close, and he only had one thought;

' _I never want to wake up_.'


	3. Chapter 3

After a few hours, the storm calmed. Youngjae and Daehyun hadn't moved from their cosy spot on the couch. Youngjae was still in Daehyun's arms, his head resting on the elders’ broad shoulder. Daehyun was still gazing down at the boy whose beauty seemed impossible.

"Jae?" Daehyun whispered.

His response was a soft "hmm?"

"Tell me about your life."

This caught Youngjae off-guard. Why did Daehyun want to know about his life? The answer to this was; so Daehyun could convince himself Youngjae was real. Most dream figures didn't have a name, let alone a full life. If Youngjae could tell Daehyun about his life, then the older could at least  _pretend_  that Youngjae wasn't just a meaningless face for him to dream about.

"Wh-what do y-you w-want to kn-know?" Youngjae stuttered out. He was nervous. His life was horrible. He didn't want to talk about it. Especially with Daehyun. What if Daehyun wanted nothing to do with him when he found out no one else did?

"Anything." Daehyun shrugged. "Everything." Youngjae stayed silent. Daehyun tried again. "What are your friends like?"

"Friend." Youngjae corrected, looking down at his lap out of shame. "His name was Junhong. We relied on each other for... Well everything really."

Daehyun nodded although he found it hard to believe that this wonderful and shy boy only had one friend. Who  _wouldn't_  want to be friends with him? He was so cute. His smile was infectious and just made Daehyun want to smile as well. His eyes were so friendly, yet held so much fear that Daehyun just wanted to kiss him until the younger boy was all fixed and okay again.

"And your family?" Daehyun tried digging deeper. He felt the others body stiffen in his arms and tried to ease him. "I'll tell you about mine first. Huh?" He offered. Youngjae nodded. "My dad... Well, I don't really know him. He's a big business man so he was never really home when I was young. By the time he owned his own company and was able to spend more time at home of already moved out and started my own life. My mother never paid much attention to me. She was always too busy keeping up our family appearance. She didn't really care what I did as long as it didn't 'taint' the Jung family image. I'm an only child so growing up was pretty lonely. My parents gave me everything I wanted just to keep me quiet. Now I work for a living so that I don't have to accept what they give me."

Youngjae could understand that Daehyun felt alone, but he still felt anxious about opening up to him. Compared to Youngjae's life, Daehyun's was a dream.

"Please don't leave me sitting here like a loser Jae." Daehyun chuckled weakly, his voice unsteady. "Tell me about you." Youngjae just kept looking straight ahead. Daehyun cupped the others face and turned him to look Daehyun in the eyes. "Hey," he murmured softly "I'm not gonna judge you. I just want to know more about you."

Youngjae nodded and inhaled deeply. "Um, I don't know. Me and my parents... Everything was fine until I was about seven. My umma got pregnant but she miscarried. Since then, both my umma and appa became alcoholics. I think they blamed me. They stopped talking to me... Started abusing me... I was just never good enough. I was too fat, too ugly, too smart, too disobedient, even though I did everything they told me to. I basically had to raise myself." He didn't even realise that silent tears were streaming down his face.

Daehyun's heart broke as he listened to Youngjae.

... _too fat, too ugly, too smart, too disobedient_...

Youngjae wasn't fat. In fact, Daehyun was already in awe of his body and the most he'd see of it was in his imagination (no thanks to those tight jeans he was wearing). There was no planet in this  _galaxy_  in which Youngjae would be considered ugly. There was no such thing as 'too smart'. Besides, Daehyun had always found smart people extremely hot. Daehyun scoffed at the thought if Youngjae being disobedient. The boy looked like he didn't have a rebellious bone in his body. Daehyun couldn't take it anymore. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around the younger in a bone-crushing hug while nuzzling his nose into the crook of Youngjae's shoulder.

"We'll your parents must be  _stupid._.." Daehyun whispered into Youngjae's neck "because you're beautiful."

A silence fell between them. Youngjae was overwhelmed by the sudden affection. Daehyun was trying not to scare off Youngjae by kissing the daylights out of him.

"I'm real, you know." Youngjae said out of the blue. Daehyun leant back and looked at him questioningly. "Last night, you said that you don't think this is real. That you're dreaming." Daehyun nodded. "Well, you might be dreaming, but I'm real. Or, I was..."

"You were?" Daehyun questioned.

"The last thing I remember is..." 

' _Committing suicide._ ' Youngjae mentally finished the sentence. Youngjae but his lip. Was he revealing too much?

"Is what?"

"Nothing." Youngjae smiled reassuringly.

"No, Youngjae, tell me." Daehyun pushed.

"I can't." Youngjae smiled again. "We don't have time."

"Why not?"

"Because it’s time for you to wake up."

~~~~~~

Daehyun opened his eyes and found himself still on the couch. The power was back on and the sun was just risen. Daehyun looked at the time.

**7:30am**

Had he really been so engrossed in Youngjae that he slept the whole afternoon  _and_ all night? Obviously, he had. Daehyun couldn't ponder any further, though, because it was time for him to get ready for work.

• • • • • •

Bang Yongguk was  _not_ having a good day.

First, his laptop (with all of his new tracks on it) went flat because he forgot to charge it the previous night. He had stayed up until nearly 2am finishing them and it completely escaped his mind. Then, he lost the card with the address of the TS Entertainment building on it, now he was relying in memory to find it. As if that wasn't bad enough, his bus was late, in turn making him nearly miss his train. Just when he was back on schedule, his train had a malfunction and he was running late again. So now, here he was, running around the streets if Seoul completely lost.

Not watching where he was going, Yongguk felt something hit his chest and looked down to see a blonde boy riding a skateboard had bumped into him.

Zelo had been distracted lately - what with his best friend being in a coma, and all - and wasn't watching where he was going as he skated to the hospital. All of a sudden, Zelo felt himself run into something hard. He rubbed his head and looked up. From the impact of the fall, he would've expected that he hit a wall, but no. Zelo had accidentally run into an extremely attractive guy who was now looking down at him, bewildered.

"M-mianhe!" Zelo exclaimed as he stood up quickly, followed by numerous bows. "I-I wasn't watching where I was going! It was my fault!"

Zelo nearly melted when the guy chuckled. His voice was so deep. Deeper than any other voice Zelo had ever heard.

"It's okay kid." The man said with a large gummy smile. "What's your name, cutie?"

Zelo blushed bright red.

Yongguk inwardly cursed himself for flirting with the (extremely adorable) young boy.

"J-Junhong, but people usually call me Zelo." Zelo answered.

"Why don't they just call you 'Junhong'? It's such a pretty name." Yongguk said, not being able to stop himself flirting with the pretty boy.

' _Yongguk, stop this. He's jailbait. Barely even legal. He's even carrying a school bag for god’s sake!'_  Yongguk told himself.

Zelo only blushed deeper and shrugged in response.

"Well, I'm Yongguk. Anyway, I'm kind of in a hurry and, um, lost." Yongguk smiled sheepishly. "Can you point me in the direction of the TS building?"

Zelo's eyes lit up. This hot guy was going to TS? Did he like music too?

' _Aish, it doesn't matter. I'll never see him again anyway_.' Zelo reminded himself.

"Sure! You just go down that street there and turn at the second left and then left again and right at the restaurant and then follow the road and it’s in the left at the end." The younger explained. It didn't seem to help as Yongguk just stood there, still clueless. "Um..." Zelo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm going that way anyway. I can show you, if you'd like?"

"That'd be great, thanks." Yongguk smiled again. Zelo gestured of the older to follow him and led the way. "So, um, where are you going to?" He asked. He didn't mean to sound nosy (or seedy) he just wanted to start a conversation with the younger boy.

"Um..." Zelo wasn't sure how to answer that. He couldn't just say that he was going to see his best friend that was like an umma to him who is currently in a coma due to a suicide attempt. Well, he could, but it'd be a bit weird. So he settled on saying "I'm going to see a friend." It wasn't a total lie, after all.

"Oh." Yongguk said. A weird feeling settled in his stomach.

' _What if it’s his girlfriend?_ ' He thought with worry. ' _Yongguk, what are you thinking? You don't care!'_

And still, he found himself asking. "Is it your girlfriend?"

Zelo let out a loud laugh. He slapped his hand over his hand in embarrassment and blushed. "Um, no. I don't have a girlfriend."

Yongguk felt relieved, but there was still an uneasy feeling in him.

"A boyfriend?"

Zelo looked at him with wide eyes. Could he tell Zelo was gay? How? Zelo was panicking but trying to stay cool in front of Yongguk.

"N-no, wh-why would I h-have a boy-boyfriend?" The younger answered.

Yongguk chuckled again. Zelo loved the low sounds that he made as he laughed. "It’s okay, Junhong. I won't judge you."

Zelo calmed down, although his name coming from the older made his heart speed up.

"No. I'm single."

"Me too." Yongguk sent him a wink.

"There it is!" Zelo said quickly, trying to ignore the flirty gesture.

"Thanks kid." Yongguk said and left to enter the huge building. He glanced back over his shoulder at the cute boy he just met and secretly hoped he'd meet him again.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Zelo had parted ways with Yongguk, he went straight to the hospital. He greeted the receptionist with a small wave and she greeted him with a pitiful smile. He'd been here every day. He always got here right when visiting hours started and only left when he was forced to.

Zelo made his way up to the third floor. Every time the elevator ride seemed to get longer. He walked down the white corridors that he had memorised by now and automatically found his way to his best friend’s room. He took his usual seat between the large window and Youngjae's bed. Gripping on tight to Youngjae's hand, Zelo exhaled slowly.

"I met a hot guy today." Zelo said to his unconscious best friend. "I know that if you were awake right now, you'd be fangirling and telling me to give you the details." He let out a small laugh at the thought. "Of course I'd tell you to mind your own business. But just this once, I'll tell you about him. His name is Yongguk. He has a really deep voice that is just..." Zelo sighed dreamily. "He was on his way to the TS Entertainment building, so I think he likes music too. Maybe, if I ever see him again, I can show him one of my raps... Nah, I guess he wouldn't be interested in me. I'm just a high school kid and he's an adult. But he called me cutie and winked at me! That means something, right?" Tears started to form in the younger's eyes. "I wish you were awake Youngjae hyung. You would know the right advice to give me." The first tear slid down Junhong's cheek. "I'm really mad at you for this you know hyung. I know I'm being selfish, but I need you. When you tried to... Did you even think of how it would affect me? You're the only one I have, Youngjae-ah. If you don't wake up... What am I meant to do?" Zelo rubbed his eyes with the hand that wasn't holding Youngjae's. He only cried more when he tried to muffle his loud sobs with the back of his hand.

"E-excuse me?" A small voice came from the doorway. Zelo turned around and saw a guy about his age standing there with a bunch of flowers. Zelo recognised him from a few classes but couldn't remember his name or figure out why he was here. "Um, these are for Youngjae hyung." He said and passed the flowers to Zelo, who put them by Youngjae's bed. "Can I come in?"

Zelo nodded and tried to wipe away his tears. "I'm sorry, but do we know you?”

"We never officially met. I'm in your music studies and maths class. My name is Moon Jongup." The shy boy introduced himself with a bow.

"Why are you here?" After years of he and Youngjae being bullied, he couldn't help being sceptical. "Youngjae has  _obviously_  been through enough. He doesn't need to be bullied in this state too."

Jongup frowned and shook his head rapidly. "No! No I'm not here to bully hyung  _or_  you. I-I've always admired Youngjae for never letting the bullies get to him... Well, I guess they did, but he never showed it. You and Youngjae aren't the only people that get picked on at our school. You're just the most obvious targets. I always wanted to be friends with you two but I was too shy to ever say anything. My shyness is actually something I get teased for. I know it's not worth much, but here I am now. I want to help you through this and be here for Youngjae."

Zelo only broke into more sobs. No one ever cared about him or Youngjae and now, someone did. He didn't know whether to be grateful for this newfound friend or bitter that he didn't show up sooner. Deciding that he could use all the support he could get right now, Zelo thanked Jongup and invited him to come sit down. He did and they spent the next four hours talking about.

• • • • • •

Daehyun could barely focus at work that day. All he could think of was Youngjae. Where he's from. What his favourite colour is. What he does when Daehyun isn't there. Does he just wait in the forest? Does he cease to exist? He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't get Youngjae off of his mind.

 

When he was finally at home, it was too early to sleep so he decided to waste time drawing. Drawing is one of Daehyun's hobbies. It relaxes him. Today, he drew Youngjae. It was a drawing of him sitting on the forest floor playing with a rose like he was last time Daehyun saw him. It was a good drawing, but Daehyun knew it was nothing compared to the real thing.

After eating, showering and even cleaning up a bit, Daehyun decided it was a good enough time for him to sleep and hopefully see Youngjae.

He tossed and turned in his bed. He was restless. He just wanted to see Youngjae as soon as he could. A few long minutes later, sleep took over him.

~~~~~~

When he got to the forest, Youngjae wasn't there. Daehyun frowned. Where was Youngjae? Why wasn't he here? Did he get sick of Daehyun? Did he leave? Daehyun's heart sank. Why wasn't Youngjae here?

"Youngjae?" Daehyun called out hopefully. A relieved smile appeared in his face when a soft "Dae?" was heard.

"You just can't stay away, can you?" Youngjae joked.

' _You have no idea_.' The elder thought.

"I guess not." Daehyun smiled stupidly.

Youngjae looked at the sky and smiled happily at Daehyun. "No more storm." He said it as if it were the best thing possible.

"No more storm." Daehyun agreed looking at the once again blue sky. "It's still pretty bad weather back in Busan though."

"Oh you're from Busan? I wondered where the accent was from." Youngjae puffed out his cheeks cutely. "I'm from Seoul."

' _Note to self: he's from Seoul_.'

"I've never been there, but my friend went there today for a job offer."

"Really? That's a long trip to make for a job interview. It must be important."

"It is to him. It’s an interview with TS Entertainment."

"Oh, a muso? My friend writes raps. He's really good at it. He can rap so fast, it's inhuman. Sometimes I think he is secretly a robot."

"Really? Yongguk raps and composes his own music. I'm sure he'd get along with that friend of yours."

"Yeah." Youngjae smiled at the thought of his friend. "Anyway, what about you? What do you do for a living?"

Daehyun but his lip and blushed. "It's nothing interesting."

"So? I wanna know." Youngjae smiled his irresistible smile and Daehyun caved.

"I work in a coffee shop. It's not much, but it’s enough for me to get by. I also take online university courses."

"Dae that's great! I mean, I'm not really a fan of coffee I prefer chocolate, but you're also doing schoolwork. I think it's very impressive."

Daehyun felt a huge surge of pride.

' _He thinks I'm impressive_!'

"Besides," Youngjae continued, "you don't really need a big fancy job. As long as you have enough for you..." Youngjae didn't want to pry, but he was starting to like Daehyun and he needed to know "and your girlfriend?"

"Oh I don't have a girlfriend." Daehyun said. Sure, it might've been a bit too enthusiastic but he wanted Youngjae to know he was single. Very, very single.

"Oh, um, cool." He tried to say casually but he was squealing with joy on the inside.

"Cool." Daehyun nodded.

They just stood there smiling like idiots at each other. With every second that passed, they started liking each other more and more.


	5. Chapter 5

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Daehyun was woken from his Youngjae-dream by a loud knock on the door. He ignored it, thinking it nothing more than some sales person, rolling over in his bed and tugging the blanket above his head.

_Knock-knock-knock._

It came again, only more frantic. With an unamused huff, Daehyun swung his legs over the edge of his bed and made his way to the front door. He turned the knob, curious to see who was disturbing him at this time of the morning, and the door swung open effortlessly. The tired boy was met with a wide eyed Bang Yongguk.

"Daehyun," He muttered. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"Yongguk," Daehyun replied in the same tone, a confused frown gracing his handsome features. Yongguk's face suddenly broke into a wide grin.

"I was accepted..." He whispered, as though if he said it too loud it wouldn't be true. Realisation dawned on Daehyun's face as he smiled happily for his best friend. "I was accepted by TS Entertainment!" A disbelieving laugh followed his sentence and Daehyun ushered him inside.

"Hyung, that's incredible!" Daehyun was extremely happy for his friend, but at the same time, extremely jealous. While Yongguk was getting what he wanted and fulfilling his dreams, the only thing Daehyun wanted was a dream.

"There's a catch though," Yongguk paused for dramatic effect "they want me to move to Seoul and I want you to come with me, Dae."

Daehyun's first thought was ' _Youngjae is in Seoul_ ' but then he reprimanded himself, remembering Youngjae wasn't real.

"What is it?" The older questioned "You just looked really... I don't know, hopeful."

"What? Oh, no. It's nothing," Daehyun put on a million-dollar smile "of course I'll go with you hyung!"

Yongguk smiled and patted his friend on the back. "Great! Well, I'm going to go apartment hunting. The sooner I can get there, the better. Wanna join me?"

Daehyun looked at the clock. He remembered that he had work soon. "I can't today. I have work in an hour,"

Yongguk nodded. "Alright, well, I'll text you if I see anything good."

"Sure," Daehyun said. Once Yongguk was gone, Daehyun let himself fall back onto the couch. He cursed his work and wished he could fall back into a never-ending slumber.

• • • • • •

Two hours, thirty-seven minutes and seven apartments later, Yongguk had had enough of apartment-hunting. Of all of them, there was really only one that was suitable. It was close to the TS building, had two bedrooms, a suitable bathroom (they cared about their looks, okay) and the rent was fairly cheap.

It was nearly lunchtime by the time he was done and decided to have a look around Seoul before getting something to eat. He barely made it one block before he saw a familiar figure sitting at the skate park.

 _Junhong_.

He was sitting on the ground, hunched over and his shoulders were shaking as if he were crying. Yongguk frowned at the thought of his sweet Junhong crying and immediately walked over to him.

"Junhong?" Yongguk's deep voice cracked through the silence of the abandoned skate park.

Zelo's head snapped up upon hearing that familiar voice.

"Y-Yongguk hyung," he scrambled to his feet and quickly bowed to the older while wiping away the tears that were still falling silently.

"Junhong-ah, why are you crying?" Yongguk reached out a hand and touched the younger's hollow cheek. Yongguk didn't fail to notice that his precious little Junhongie had gotten thinner, he had gotten paler, and he now had dark circles around his pretty brown eyes. "You look sick," the concern in his voice was poorly concealed and he knew it "what's wrong?"

"I-I just h-haven't been eating and sl-sleeping properly I guess," Zelo shrugged, although he knew it was much more than that. He hadn't been eating at all since Youngjae tried to... The point is, he couldn't cook and his parents didn't care, so he had nearly no way of getting food. He refused to go home (or even to school) until Youngjae was awake and so he always slept in the alley beside the hospital so he could be there as soon as visiting hours started. Seoul got so cold at night that his fingertips were even starting to go purple.

"Why not?" Yongguk asked, his voice stern yet caring.

"Because I have nowhere to go..." he whispered, yet Yongguk hear loud and clear.

"What do you mean you 'have nowhere to go'?" Yongguk's stern yet caring voice was suddenly turned into one of alarm. "You mean you're living in the streets?"

Zelo only nodded.

Suddenly, he felt his hand be gripped by a much larger, much warmer one as he was pulled away from the skate park. He looked up in surprise and saw Yongguk with a determined look on his beautiful face (yet Zelo could still see the worry etched across it as well).

"H-hyung, where are we going?" Junhong asked in an unintentionally cute voice. Yongguk had to use up nearly all of his willpower to stop himself from pulling the younger into his arms and kissing the daylights out of him.

' _Jailbait, Yongguk. Jail. Bait_.' He reminded himself.

"We're going to have lunch," he said simply.

"B-but I don't have any money," Zelo told him as his cheeks burnt red.

"I do," Yongguk chanced a look at the boy beside him, "I have money and I want to use it to buy you lunch,"

"You don't have to do that," Junhong whispered. He liked Yongguk. He didn't want the older treating him like a charity case.

"I want to," the other replied with a sweet smile, giving Zelo's hand a slight squeeze. Zelo nodded and let himself be led to a small diner.

They sat in silence in an intimate booth towards the back of the diner. Yongguk told Zelo to order anything he wanted (ignoring the younger's protests). Neither spoke until their food arrived. A hot chocolate and a choc-chip cookie for Zelo and a black coffee and an apple muffin for Yongguk.

"So," the deep voiced man spoke as he intently watched the younger sipping his drink "are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Junhong tensed up and slowly put the cup down.

"Well," his voice was small, so he cleared his throat "it's my best friend, Youngjae-"

"What did he do?" Yongguk asked angrily, automatically assuming the aforementioned boy hurt his Junhongie.

' _Why do I keep referring to him as mine?_ '

"Did he hurt you?"

Zelo shook his head furiously.

"N-no hyung! Youngjae hyung would never hurt me. He... He hurt himself," a tear rolled down his porcelain-like cheek. Yongguk's heart broke at the sight of the boy crying again.

"What do you mean?" Yongguk leaned closer and let his hand take Junhong's from across the table.

"He tried to kill himself," it came out in a whisper. As if, if he whispered it, then it wasn't true. It would all be better if it was whispered. It would be okay as long as it wasn't said aloud. "He's in a coma now. He isn't getting worse... But, he isn't getting better either," a sob escaped his soft-looking lips and in less than a second, Yongguk was beside him. Strong arms wrapped themselves around Zelo's waist and the latter let himself sob into Yongguk's broad chest, listening to the soft murmurs of "it's okay" coming from the deep voice he was slowly becoming addicted to.

In just a few minutes, his sobs died down (Yongguk's voice and the way his thumb was rubbing small circles on Junhong's hip helped a lot). The ramen-haired boy composed himself, sitting up from Yongguk's chest (although the elder kept his arms loosely around the younger's waist) and wiping away the remaining tears.

"Mianhe hyung," he said with a shy smile, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"You don't need to be sorry," Yongguk smiled down at him, "I'll always be here for you, Junhong. Whenever you're hungry, or sad, or just want to talk to someone, I'll be here, waiting for you."

"Really?" Junhong's voice was small and hopeful. Yongguk nodded and called over a waitress.

"I'm sorry, could I just borrow a pen and a bit of paper from you?" The rapper asked her politely.

"Of course," she said, batting her eyelashes as she ripped a piece of paper from her notebook and handed it and a pen to the brunette.

"Thanks," he said with a large gummy smile. He scribbled down his name and a few numbers before giving the pen back to the girl, no longer paying any attention to her. "Here,"

Junhong took the paper.

"Call me whenever you need to," Yongguk told him before adding (a little shyly, not that he'd ever admit to being shy) "or, even if you don't need to."

"Yes, hyung," Zelo said, blushing deep red.

"Promise?"

"Promise."


	6. Chapter 6

It'd been two weeks since Yongguk was last in Seoul. Two weeks since he'd seen his precious Zelo. It wasn't so bad, though. Zelo had called him every day, just to let his hyung know he was okay. Yongguk's heart never failed to beat faster every time he heard the younger's voice.

Yongguk and Daehyun had agreed on an apartment (although honestly, he didn't really care. He just wanted to sleep) and today they were moving in. They had hired a moving truck, packed their bags, paid for the apartment and now here they were, unpacking a hundred boxes into a relatively small apartment.

Yongguk looked at the clock. Their landlord, Kim Himchan, said he'd be here around 5pm to check on them and see how they liked the apartment. It was now 4:54pm so he'd be there any minute.

"I should probably go out and start looking for another job later on," Daehyun mused aloud. Since he left Busan, he had to quit his job. He wasn't that upset about it in all honesty. It was only a coffee shop.

"You don't have to start doing that right away," Yongguk replied, taking a lamp shade out of a box and placing it on the coffee table, "relax, take a look around Seoul. I don't know, try and find that person you've been 'waiting' for,"

' _I've already found him_.' Daehyun thought as a pang of hurt rang through him. It felt like there was an icy hand gripping his heart every time he thought of Youngjae. He had finally found someone so absolutely perfect, and yet he could do nothing about it. Youngjae was funny and cute and he had those chubby cheeks that Daehyun wanted to pinch and his plump lips that were just begging to be kissed. Daehyun cursed his mind for creating this incredibly gorgeous and sexy creature.

Daehyun chose to say nothing and continued to unpack boxes until their landlord showed up. Their landlord, Himchan, mostly talked about the apartment and its previous tenants (Daehyun was happy to hear that there were no gruesome murders), along with telling them about the rent and inspections, all the while shamelessly flirting with Yongguk.

Yongguk, on the other hand, seemed to either not know or not care about the flirting since he paid no mind to the rather attractive, Daehyun had to admit (although he had nothing on his Jae Jae) dark haired man.

"I'll be back every two weeks to collect the rent," Himchan said, placing a hand on Yongguk's forearm and batting his eyelashes at the older.

' _I wonder if I could invite Junhong to come and visit me..._ ' Yongguk thought, completely oblivious to Himchan's attempts.

"And the bedrooms are quite big. Good enough for one person," Himchan slid closer to Yongguk and said in a low voice "or maybe even two,"

Would it be inappropriate to ask Junhong to move in? I mean, he doesn't have anywhere to live and I don't trust this 'Jongup' person. My Junhongie speaks too fondly of him. I'm sure he's trying to steal him away from me. It's not allowed. He can live here,' Yongguk completely missed the suggestive undertone in Himchan's voice.

"Also, the walls are quite thick and mostly soundproof, so it won't disturb your roommate if you want to bring someone home with you," Himchan really was trying his best, but Yongguk was obviously not interested.

' _I'll bring Junhong home with me next time I see him. Aish, not in that way, I don't want - well, I want, but - he's just - JAILBAIT! Clean thoughts. Clean thoughts. Think of bunnies and puppies and ponies and not a naked teenager sweating and moaning as I - STOP IT_!'

"O-okay, thank you H-Himchan-ssi," Yongguk stammered out, suddenly nervous that he's going to be arrested for his bad, bad, bad, bad, thoughts.

"Oh, please, just call me Himchan," said boy grinned flirtatiously, "I'm sure we'll be closer soon, so we may as well drop the formalities,"

"Uh-huh," Yongguk replied distractedly.

Deciding to give up,  _for now_ , Himchan bid the two goodbye and left the apartment. As soon as he was gone, the first thing Daehyun did, was laugh.

Yongguk looked at him, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, that was sad to watch," Daehyun said once his laughter died down.

"What was?" Yongguk's frown deepened.

Daehyun frowned as well.

"You really didn't notice?"

"Notice what?"

"Him flirting with you,"

Yongguk's eyes widened.

"H-he w-was?"

Daehyun nodded and said "yeah, he was. Quite obviously too,"

"Oh," Yongguk mumbled, trying to think back on the situation but only coming up with Junhong-related thoughts.

"You don't notice when a cute boy tries to get in your pants... Who are you and what have you done with my hyung?"

"Aish, nothing. I just wasn't interested,"

"Not interested?" Daehyun repeated in disbelief. "He was totally your type; pretty and willing,"

"Yeah, well... Maybe I've found the one _I_ was waiting for," Yongguk told him. A small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Daehyun's mouth dropped open in shock. No way! Yongguk was in love? Before Daehyun could comment on the subject, Yongguk grabbed his coat, slipped on his shoes and headed for the door. "You can order in tonight, there's someone I want to see," he said and with that, left the apartment.

Daehyun shrugged and did as he said. He ordered some take-out and ate before he found his bedding in amongst the jungle of boxes and went to sleep, eager to see a certain brown-haired boy.

~~~~~~

The moment Daehyun opened his eyes, he saw his Youngjae. The latter was sitting on the grass, staring up at the - for the first time, night - sky. A smile made its way onto Daehyun's face as he walked towards his angel. He felt Youngjae jump when he placed a hand on his shoulder. For a moment, as Youngjae was looking up at him, Daehyun swears he saw fear in the other's eye before his features softened into that smile that makes Daehyun go all mushy.

Daehyun sat beside Youngjae so close that their shoulders and thighs were touching. The electric charge that ran through them at the contact was undeniable.

Neither boy spoke. They just sat in silence, Youngjae looking at the sky, Daehyun gazing at Youngjae. The only sounds were those of their breathing and the crickets hidden in the grass.

They sat like that for a long time, before Youngjae's soft melodic voice broke through the silence.

"I've always been fascinated by the stories of the star constellations," he whispered. He wasn't sure why exactly he whispered, it just seemed right.

"Really?" Daehyun whispered back.

"Yeah," Youngjae nodded and turned to face the beautiful boy next to him, "my favourite is the story of the Cancer constellation,"

There was a silence as the two just sat there, looking at each other longingly, both hoping the other would make a move - or at least indicate that it was okay to make a move.

"Can you tell me the story?" Daehyun asked, having never heard it and wanting to hear more of Youngjae's sweet voice.

Mostly the second reason.

Youngjae smiled and nodded. He opened his mouth to speak but Daehyun interrupted him with a quick; "wait,"

Daehyun laid back down on the grass and tugged at the back of Youngjae's shirt for him to do the same. Youngjae complied, now lying beside Daehyun on the soft grass. Suddenly, Daehyun grabbed the other's in his, holding it between their bodies. Youngjae's face flushed deep red and he was thankful that it was night-time so Daehyun couldn't see it.

"Okay, see this constellation?" Youngjae asked once his heart rate was back to normal and pointed into the sky, showing Daehyun a group of stars. Daehyun nodded. "That's the Cancer constellation. According to Greek mythology, Hercules, Zeus’ son, was given twelve labours by Hera, Zeus’ wife, which would each test his strength and courage. Hera hoped these twelve labours would prove to Zeus that Hercules was unworthy of his love - Hera was very jealous of Zeus’ love for Hercules. The second of these twelve labours was to kill the Lernean Hydra, which had a long snake or dragon-like body and nine heads. If anyone succeeded in cutting off one of its heads, it would grow another one in its place. 

"In order to make sure that Hercules failed at this task, Hera sent a large crab to grab Hercules by the heel and distract him while he was fighting the Hydra. During the fight with the Hydra, Hercules, who took his nephew Iolas along, would cut off one of the Hydra’s heads and Iolas would sear that neck with a torch so that no new head could grow back. Fearing that Hercules might indeed defeat the Hydra, Hera sent in the crab to grab Hercules’ foot. However, as the crab grabbed his foot, Hercules stomped down with his other foot and crushed the crab. He then cut the final head of the Hydra off and Iolas seared it, thus defeating the Hydra, and Hera.

"To honour Hercules’ great victory and to remind Hera of her failure, Zeus placed the constellation of Cancer the Crab in the sky,"

"Why is that one your favourite?" Daehyun asked softly.

"Because Hercules beat Hera. She made him fight a nine-headed beast and sent a giant crab to stop him and he didn't give up because he knew if he did, he would be proven unworthy of love. I think a lot of people feel like they don't deserve love and, well, it's not a nice feeling. I just like knowing that there are some people out there willing to fight. Even if it's fiction, it gives me hope that people can overcome the ones who say they aren't worthy," Youngjae told him honestly, not caring how ridiculous he sounded. He trusted Daehyun.

"You deserve love, Youngjae," Daehyun told him, giving his hand a squeeze. He meant it, too. Youngjae deserved to be loved - everyone did. Youngjae should be showered with affection and treated like a princess and Daehyun wanted to be the person to do that.

' _I love you, Youngjae_ ,' Daehyun thought as he lay there silently, cherishing the feeling of Youngjae's hand in his and the warmth radiating off of the Younger's body.


	7. Chapter 7

When Daehyun finally drifted off to sleep after a long day unpacking boxes, he found himself in the field, in the middle of the day, but Youngjae was nowhere to be found. Daehyun looked around for a little while, calling the younger's name. After a few minutes, Daehyun decided to check inside the cabin. Just as he was about to reach the cabin, there was a noise from inside that sounded like glass breaking and a loud " _fuck_!" (Which Daehyun found extremely hot) called out in Youngjae's voice.

Daehyun immediately ran into the cabin, his wide, scared eyes desperately searching for his Jae baby (not that he'd ever called him that out loud).

"Youngjae?" Daehyun called frantically. He was sure he had heard something break before.  _What if his Jae was hurt_?!

"Dae?" The elder heard his baby's voice from the kitchen and (while ignoring the butterflies that started to fly at the sound of his nickname) ran to him. Youngjae's eyes lit up with happiness when he saw the elder. Daehyun grabbed Youngjae's hands and searched Youngjae's body (in a totally non-sexual way) for any injuries.

"Are you hurt? I heard something smash," Daehyun panicked.

"I'm fine," Youngjae gave him a reassuring smile (and he would never admit how happy he was that Daehyun was worried) "I just broke a glass by accident. They're on the top shelf and I couldn't reach it," he blushed.

' _He's so cute when he blushes_ ,' Daehyun thought happily, ' _then again, he's always cute,'_

"Why didn't you wait for me?" the elder asked.

Youngjae shrugged before answering "I didn't know when or even  _if_ you'd ever be here again,"

"Youngjae," Daehyun spoke quietly, as if he barely wanted Youngjae to hear what he was about to say, "I'd do anything to see you,"

Youngjae blushed again, unintentionally driving Daehyun mad with his adorableness.

"I'm glad," Youngjae said in the same tone as Daehyun, "I-I like seeing you,"

Daehyun couldn't stop the ecstatic grin that spread across his face.

Daehyun cleared his throat after realising that he had been staring at Youngjae for too long.

"Anyway, so, um, what were you doing?" The elder asked awkwardly.

"Oh, I was just going to make some lunch," Youngjae told him, equally as awkward. Daehyun's eyes lit up at the mention of food and Youngjae seemed no notice. He chuckled softly, "would you like me to make you something to eat?"

Suddenly a million and one amazing thoughts flashed through Daehyun's mind. He and Youngjae living together. Cuddling with Youngjae after a long day at work. Coming home to find Youngjae had cooked dinner and was waiting for him. Making love to Youngjae for the first time. Dating Youngjae. Living with Youngjae. Marrying Youngjae.

 _This_ , Daehyun decided, was the life he wanted.

Daehyun gave Youngjae a smile and said "why don't we go on a picnic?"

And so that's what they did. Youngjae made some sandwiches and cut up some fruit while Daehyun found a suitable picnic blanket. The two then ventured out (about ten metres from the cabin) and set up their picnic.

As Daehyun sat, he looked up at the sky. The sun was shining bright, there was no wind, a blue sky with not a cloud in sight and a nice golden colour had fallen over the field. It was probably the most beautiful day Daehyun had ever seen. What made it even better was that he was sharing it with the most beautiful boy he'd ever seen.

"The weather's nice today," Daehyun commented.

Youngjae nodded his agreement.

"The sun is nice, but I prefer the cold weather - obviously, not storms - but I like the cold," the younger told him.

"Why?"

"It's nice weather to stay in bed and read with a hot chocolate,” Youngjae shrugged, "plus it gives me an excuse to wear long clothes,"

"I bet you'd look good in summer clothes," Daehyun said with a playful wink. Youngjae went pink. "But you have a point. Winter is the perfect cuddle weather,"

"You can cuddle in summer too," Youngjae said, smirking at the ground.

"Well," Daehyun scooted closer, "shall we test out that theory?" He snaked an arm around the younger's waist.

Youngjae went bright red and trapped his bottom lip between two perfect rows of teeth. Daehyun expected the other to pull away at his touch. He waited for a few moments, but when Youngjae made no move to leave, Daehyun only tightened his grip.

"So, what should we eat first Jae Jae?" The food-addict asked excitedly.

Youngjae raised an eyebrow at the (butterflies-in-his-stomach kind of cute) nickname.

" _Jae Jae_? You've never called me that before," Youngjae mumbled.

"Yeah I have," the elder stated and popped an apple slice in his mouth, "just not to your face,"

The rest of the picnic continued smoothly. If Daehyun was so bold, he would say it was a date (even if Youngjae didn't know it). They stayed there for hours. Eating, playing, talking, making out shapes in the clouds, until finally, the time came for Daehyun to go. In all honesty, neither boy wanted him to leave. Daehyun loved every moment he spent with the other boy and would gladly give up everything to never leave him. Youngjae also had strong feelings for Daehyun, although he wasn't ready to admit it, even to himself. He cherished every moment he'd spent with the elder and dreaded the moment he'd have to wake up and Youngjae would be left alone in this dreamscape once again.

~~~~~~

"Doesn't your roommate get sick of you going out every night, Yongguk hyung?" Zelo asked as he sat with Yongguk in the same booth at the same diner they'd been to every night for the past week. This had become like a tradition. Yongguk would go to Jongup's house - where Zelo is staying ( _for now_ ) - and pick up Junhong and take him out to dinner. The first time, Yongguk told Zelo he would take the younger absolutely anywhere he wanted, but Zelo wanted to come back to the same place they'd first had lunch. The next few nights went the same way and now it was just a habit.

"Nah," Yongguk said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "he's been sleeping early a lot lately. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was hiding a secret boyfriend under his bed,"

Zelo only nodded and watched Yongguk as the brunette played with his kimchi with his chopsticks for a few moments before bringing the food up to his (totally kissable, in Zelo's opinion) lips. Junhong really admired the older man. He might even go so far as to say he had a small crush on the man.

Okay, maybe a big crush.

Alright, alright, he was falling for him. Aish.

Although, it's not like Zelo could do anything about it. He was seventeen. Yongguk was twenty-three. Not only was it illegal, it would also be a hard relationship to keep going. Yongguk was an adult. He was working for TS Entertainment and on his way to pursuing his dream whereas Zelo was still growing, skipping school to hang out with his comatose best friend and writing raps that he'd never let see the light of day. There were too many differences. But then again, they had a lot of similarities. Like, they both loved music and found that they had a lot of favourite artists in common. They both enjoyed war movies. They both enjoyed each other's company. Junhong brought out a more fun, playful side of Yongguk while the latter made the blonde teen see a bit more sense. When Junhong thought about these things, for just a moment, he would forget the age difference and toy with the idea that maybe -  _just_  maybe - they would have a chance. Then of course, some mature waitress noona would come and flirt with Yongguk, making Zelo remember that he was nothing more than a screwed up kid that Yongguk took charity on. 

"How's work going hyung?" Junhong asked, genuinely interested. He thought his hyung had the best job in the world and wouldn't mind following in the other's footsteps.

"It's good," Yongguk flashed Zelo one of his signature gummy smiles. "They've got me putting together songs for a lot of good artists. No extremely famous ones since I'm just getting started, but hey, I'm happy with it,"

"That's good, as long as you're happy," Zelo smiled cutely and took a drink of his strawberry milkshake. Yongguk had to swallow the lump in his throat and try to control his blood flow (so it didn't rush straight down to his pants) every time Zelo put his luscious lips around that damn straw. Every night, Zelo got a milkshake, and every night, Yongguk couldn't help but imagine those sinful lips wrapped around something else.

' _You're too old for him. Stop.'_  Yongguk scolded himself, even though it did no good.

"It's getting late now Junhong-ah," the elder said, "Should I walk you home now?"

Zelo nodded enthusiastically. Yongguk smiled and left some money on the table before they proceeded to leave.

As much as Junhong liked spending time with Yongguk, one of his favourite parts of their outings was when Yongguk walked him home. Why, you ask? Well, the answer was simple. Yongguk was paranoid that something was going to happen to his Junhongie and he  _held. Junhong's. Hand._  Every time. And while Yongguk  _was_ paranoid when it came to his precious boy, it was really just a lame excuse for some skinship.

All the fluffy feelings were replaced by ones of dejection when they came to a stop outside the traditional Korean house Zelo was residing in.

"Okay, well, goodnight hyung," Junhong said sadly.

"Goodnight Junhong," Yongguk ruffled the younger's blonde ramen hair to stop himself from kissing him until he could no longer breathe.

Junhong turned back once more and gave Yongguk a shy smile, like every night and like every night, Yongguk checked out the younger's ass (scolding himself for it later on) as he walked inside the house, and like every night, Yongguk didn't leave until Junhong was safely inside.

And like every night, Yongguk cursed the God that made him fall for a seventeen year old boy.


	8. Chapter 8

For Daehyun and Youngjae, the four days that followed were just as beautiful as the day of the picnic. Daehyun had been sleeping more than ever, but he didn't see it as a problem. So what if he hadn't found a job yet or blew off a few online classes or nearly fell asleep during the ones he did attend? Daehyun didn’t care, his Jae was worth it. Then again, Daehyun thought anything was worth it for Youngjae.

“Daehyun?” Youngjae's velvety voice broke the silence. The elder smiled at the other boy who was currently lying beside him. They had been like this for the past few hours. At least, that's what it felt like to them. They were just lying there and basking in the warmth of the sun. Youngjae's hand was being held onto tightly by Daehyun, as if he were to disappear if Dae wasn’t holding his hand (not that Youngjae minded). Youngjae had his head resting on Daehyun's chest. He could hear Dae's heartbeat and how it sped up when Youngjae spoke (causing a blush to dust the younger boy's cheeks).

“Yeah, Jae?” Daehyun finally replied once his heartbeat returned to normal.

“Has that pathway always been there?” He questioned pointing to a small clearing in the forest, a small (cute) frown on his face as he focused on remembering whether or not it was always there.

Daehyun shrugged and then remembered that Youngjae couldn’t see it and said “I don’t know. The forest isn't exactly what I give my attention to when I’m here,” he blushed slightly, hoping Youngjae got the subliminal message.

He did.

“Do you wanna go check it out?” Daehyun continued.

“But... W-we don’t know what could be d-down th-there,”

“Aw, is my Jae Jae scared?” Daehyun chuckled softly and prayed that Youngjae didn't notice the use of the word  _my_.

He did.

' _He called me his_   _Jae Jae!_  His!  _Oh my god, breath Youngjae,'_ Youngjae internally cheered.

“N-no, of course I'm not s-scared,” he lied lamely.

“It's okay Jae,” Daehyun gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, “I'll be right here to protect you, arasso?”

Youngjae decided that it would be totally okay if he was in danger, as long as Daehyun was there to be his shining prince. Youngjae nodded and sat up, Daehyun already missing the warmth of his angel. Daehyun stood up, then held out a hand to help up Youngjae.

The two walked silently hand in hand down the path. They were both always so wrapped up in each other that neither paid attention to how truly beautiful this place was. The trees were so tall and wide that they created a shading over the path. The sunlight streamed through the leaves, creating random strips of sunlight all around them. Butterflies and dragonflies buzzed around them. Flowers of all shapes, fragrances and colours surrounded them. The grass was unbelievably green. Everything about this place was beyond imaginable and Youngjae was happy that he get to share it with someone he was growing to lo – someone he cared deeply for.

“Wow,” he heard Daehyun whisper. When Youngjae looked up, he shared Daehyun's awe. They were at what seemed like a lake, except that the water was the perfect blue and crystal clear. The sunlight reflected off of it, making it look like it was made of the finest diamonds. There were a few big rocks near one corner and once again, perfectly green grass where the water met the shore.

“It's so pretty,” Youngjae said with a small smile.

“Come on Youngjae, let’s go for a swim!” Daehyun exclaimed, starting to pull the younger towards the water.

Youngjae stayed where he was, his internal panic slightly showing.

“B-but we don't have a swimsuit,” he argued.

“So? We can just wear our underwear,” Daehyun's mouth watered at the metal image of his Youngjae in nothing but a pair of tight black boxer-briefs.

“Well, what if it rains?” He cringed. The weather has been perfect for five days straight, he highly doubted it was going to rain.

“It's like 50 degrees out here, Jae. Besides aren't you hot? You're always in those jeans and that grey sweater,” Daehyun countered, wanting to go swimming and desperate for an excuse to see more of Youngjae's creamy skin.

“But I-”

“Is it because you can't swim? Because I can teach-”

“Yah! Of course I can swim, pabo,” Youngjae rolled his eyes.

“Then why won't you swim with me?” Daehyun pouted cutely and Youngjae gave in with a large sigh.

“Because, my I don't want you to see my body,” Youngjae admitted in a shy, almost scared, voice. Daehyun's brows furrowed. Was Youngjae crazy? For the past week, all Daehyun has wanted was  _to_  see the younger boy's body. “Your body is perfect (Youngjae blushed when he said it and Daehyun had to stop himself from crying out in joy that the other liked his body) and you probably have abs and you're tanned but I'm not. I'm pale and chubby and...” Youngjae wanted to say ' _and I have ugly scars on my arms from my suicide attempt_ ,' but he stopped himself. “I don't want to... To put you off me. You look at me like I'm this beautiful person and I know it's selfish but I want you to keep looking at me that way,”

Silence that followed Youngjae's confession. It seemed like forever before Daehyun spoke.

“Youngjae, I  _do_  think you're a beautiful person, but not just for your looks. I look at you that way because apart from being insanely gorgeous, you're funny, and witty, and smart, and strong yet at the same time, so vulnerable and I always feel the need to protect you and... I like all of those things. I don't care if you're pale or if you  _think_  you're chubby, because, even from what little I've seen of it, I happen to love your body.”

Daehyun's heart had never beaten so fast, and his face never so red. Daehyun took three tentative steps to stand before the other. His shaky fingers gripped the hem of Youngjae's grey sweater as his eyes searched the other's for confirmation. When Youngjae didn't seem like he was about to pull away, Daehyun slowly lifted the stupid sweater off of Jae's torso.

' _Oh, sweet lord,_ ' Daehyun thought as he struggled to keep his thoughts completely unrelated to sex (although that was close to impossible with a topless Youngjae right before him).

Youngjae mistook Daehyun's staring and tried to cover up his chest and stomach with his arms. Daehyun immediately caught the wrists that were trying to block his view and moved them slowly. Feeling bold (and the slightest bit turned on) Daehyun leaned down to press a feather light kiss right above his bellybutton.

Youngjae giggled at the feeling. “What are you doing, Dae?”

“I'm showing you that you're beautiful,” Daehyun stated as if it were obvious and then continued to place a few more kisses on the younger.

Youngjae's skin was addicting and Daehyun wanted nothing more than to kiss it all day long and show Youngjae  _just_  how much he worshipped the ground he walked on, but at the risk of scaring off Youngjae forever, he didn't.

Daehyun stood up properly and smiled at the now beet-red boy. Daehyun ran his hands down Youngjae's bare arms to grip his hands, but frowned when he felt the impression of rough, vertical lines on Youngjae's wrists. Youngjae went to pull his arms away, but Daehyun's grip was too tight. Slowly, Daehyun turned the younger's hand palm-up. He was shocked when he saw fresh scars on his Jae's wrists. Why had his angel hurt himself?

“Y-Youngjae...” Daehyun muttered, more to himself, and looked down at the slightly shorter boy with wide, worried eyes. “Why did you... Did you try to,” Daehyun swallowed the lump in his throat, “did you try to  _kill yourself_?” It came out in a whisper, even though it wasn't supposed to.

“I-I...I...” at a loss for words, Youngjae only grabbed his sweater back from Daehyun and put it back on. “Isn't it about time for you to wake up?” He asked hastily and stared down at the floor.

“Not yet,” Daehyun said firmly. He hooked a finger under Youngjae's chin and lifted his face until his eyes met Daehyun's, “Youngjae, talk to me. Tell me what made you do this,”

Youngjae heaved a sigh and sat on the grass. Daehyun followed his actions quickly, wrapping an arm cautiously around Youngjae's shoulders. Youngjae only leaned into the touch and rested his head against Dae's shoulder.

“It was only about a week before I met you. Well, I told you about my parents and how they hated me. Everything was just getting worse. The bullying at school _and_  at home. My parents never had any money to pay the bills because they always blew it on alcohol, so I was forced to get a job just to keep the power and hot water on.

“I also had to look after my best friend, since his parents cared about him as much as mine cared about me. I had so much responsibility. I had to look out for myself and my friend and I just couldn't take it anymore.” A tear escaped his eye, which Daehyun wiped away with his thumb. “It was so hard,” he sobbed out, “I had to be strong all the time. I had to put up with the bullying and the abuse because I'm meant to be the strong one but... It's so,  _so_  hard to be strong all the time. I couldn't do it anymore,”

Daehyun pulled Youngjae into a tight hug as the younger sobbed into his chest.

“It'll be okay,” Daehyun whispered into his ear “I'm here for you Jae Jae. I won't let anything bad happen, alright?” He kissed Youngjae's cheek softly. “I'm here. I'll  _always_  be here,”

It was a promise Daehyun intended to keep at any cost.


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey, hyung,” Daehyun greeted his roommate, who was currently sitting on the couch watching some war movie.

“Good morning Dae,” The elder peeled his eyes away from the movie, “it's nice to see you out of bed,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daehyun waddled sleepily into the kitchen, running a hand over his face, “do we have any coffee?”

“No, we don't have much of anything right now,” Yongguk told him honestly, “I was just going to go through  _McDonald’s_  for breakfast,”

“Well, why don't we go and find a new cafe to hang out at?”

“Wow, out of bed  _and_  leaving the house in the same day?” Yongguk said in a mocking tone.

“Well, if you don't want to I can-”

“No, no I want to,” Yongguk interrupted quickly. The only cafe he knew of was the one he shared with Zelo, but he didn’t want to share that with anyone. Not even his best friend.

“Okay then,” Daehyun shrugged, “just let me go get dressed and we can leave,”

It didn't take long for Daehyun to change into a pair of plain black skinny jeans and a grey shirt with a colourful graphic design on it. The two of them headed out into the Seoul streets in search of a small cafe. It only took about fifteen minutes of walking before Daehyun found one and pointed it out to Yongguk.

“No!” He answered too quickly.

Daehyun frowned and asked “why not?”

“It, uh... It doesn’t look very nice,” he covered up weakly.

“Come on Yongguk, I know when you're lying,” Daehyun urged.

Yongguk sighed and gave in.

“Well, I kind of go there with someone else and I... It's special to us and I want to keep that place just between me and him,” Yongguk confessed with his eyes shut tight, waiting for the mockery to come. When it didn't, he opened his eyes to see a sly smirk on his best friend's face.

“Okay, Guk,” Daehyun nodded, “but as soon as we find a place you're telling me about this guy,”

Yongguk nodded his agreement and they continued to search. It was Yongguk who pointed out the next cafe. Daehyun didn’t really care where they went as long as there was cheesecake there. They both liked the look of it and decided to give it a go. Back in Busan, they always sat at a table in the back, so here, they decided on one of the outside tables.

Daehyun ordered a cappuccino and – as he happily discovered they had – a slice of cheesecake, while Yongguk got a blueberry muffin and a flat white.

“Now, Yongguk,” Daehyun said once he’d eaten a good half of his cake, “who is this boy you've been meeting with?”

Yongguk sighed and looked down at his half-eaten muffin.

“His name is Junhong. I first met him when I was in Seoul for my interview-”

“What?!” Daehyun exclaimed. “That long and you never told me? I'm your best friend!”

“I know, but you were always sleeping so...” Yongguk said softly.

Daehyun realised that he was right. He had been spending most of his time sleeping due to his secret crush. Daehyun wanted to tell Yongguk about his Jae, but he knew he'd sound crazy. It's not like he could just say “ _oh yeah hyung, the reason I've been sleeping so much is because I've fallen in love with a boy from my dreams.”_  That would go down well.

“Yeah, sorry hyung,” Daehyun muttered guiltily, “anyway, keep telling me about this guy,”

“Well, he's had a really hard life and he was living in the streets, so I bought him dinner one night. We have a lot in common, too. I've met up with him nearly every night since we moved here and, well... I really like him,” Yongguk confessed with a blush.

“Yongguk that's great!” Daehyun congratulated his hyung. Daehyun was happy that his friend had finally found someone that he saw himself with for longer than a night.

“Well, not really... There's a slight problem,”

“What is it?”

“He's seventeen,” Yongguk said quietly.

Daehyun's mouth dropped open in shock. Well that was... Unexpected. To say the least.

“Wow,” Daehyun muttered.

“Oh God, now you think I'm a paedophile,” The musician dropped his head into his hands. “Aish, I'm crazy! I can’t have these feelings for him! It's unnatural... It's disgusting... It's... It's-”

“No it's not, hyung,” Daehyun smiled, “You can't help who you fall for,”

Daehyun knew this better than anyone.

~~~~~~

“...And I mean it sucks that he's so young, but Yongguk hyung really likes him. Yongguk hasn’t liked  _anyone_  for a really long time,” Daehyun finished recounting to Youngjae what his hyung told him. He felt like he shouldn't be telling anyone, but Youngjae wasn’t just anyone. He was  _Youngjae_.

“I had a friend called 'Junhong' once,” Youngjae muttered to no one in particular. “Well, I think that if they like each other enough, age shouldn't matter,”

' _God knows they are more unconventional couples_ ,' Youngjae thought sadly as he looked at the boy laying on the bed beside him.

“I agree,” Daehyun smiled and snaked his arms around Youngjae's waist a little tighter.

Youngjae wished more than anything that he could see that smile in the real world, but he knew he couldn't. He was dead. He had to be. He wasn't sure why he showed up in Daehyun's dreams, but he knew that he was no longer a part of his world any more.

As much as Youngjae enjoyed Daehyun's company, he missed Junhong too. Every moment that Daehyun was gone and Youngjae was here alone, he understood what his dongsaeng was feeling every moment since Youngjae had done that to himself. He wanted more than anything to take back what he did, but he knew he couldn't.

“Hey,” Daehyun whispered bringing one hand up to cup Jae's face and wipe away the silent tears staining the younger's perfect face, “Youngjae, why are you crying?”

“Huh? Oh,” Youngjae laughed weakly, realising that he had been crying. He wiped the tears away hastily but they didn't seem to slow.

“Jae Jae, what's wrong?” Daehyun asked again, his voice full of worry.

“I just... I was thinking of you and Jun-Junhong and I... I just...” A sob broke through Youngjae's precious lips. “I regret it so much,”

Daehyun immediately knew what his Jae was talking about and sat up, pulling Youngjae into his chest as he sobbed. It hurt his heart to see his angel like this, but the least he could do was be there for Youngjae. He tightened his hold on the other as he couldn’t do anything other than listen to Jae's sobs that were muffled by Daehyun's chest. Neither boy knew how long they'd been sitting like that for but eventually Youngjae stopped crying and his breathing calmed.

Youngjae peeled himself away from Daehyun slightly but only enough to look at the other boy's face properly. Daehyun saw that Youngjae's eyes were still red and puffy, but at least he wasn’t crying any more.

“Sorry,” Youngjae whispered, his warm breath hitting Daehyun's face.

“It's alright,” Daehyun replied quietly, his eyes never leaving Youngjae's chocolate brown ones.

Daehyun was acutely aware of how close their faces were, barely inches between them. He was also aware of how adorable Youngjae looked, with his hair messed up, sticking out in all different directions and his eyes gazing intensely up into Daehyun's.

“Youngjae,” Daehyun mumbled nervously.

“Yeah, Dae?” Youngjae replied, ever breaking eye contact.

“Would it be okay if...If I kissed you?”

Youngjae felt butterflies erupt in his stomach and all he could do was nod.

Daehyun hesitantly cupped the Youngjae's face with one hand while the other made its way to his hip before he lowered his face to meet Jae's. Daehyun's eyes scanned Youngjae's once more for any signs of hesitance or regret and when he saw none, he pressed his lips firmly to Youngjae's. Daehyun's heart beat faster as he moved his lips in sync with Youngjae's. Youngjae tasted sweet, like cotton candy, and it was a taste that Dae found himself becoming quickly addicted to.

They had to break away for air after some time, both panting heavily with flushed faces.

“Come on, Jae,” Daehyun led Youngjae to lay back on the bed beside him again “let's go to sleep,”

Youngjae nodded, curling into a ball in Daehyun's arms and letting the steady beat of the older boy's heart lull him to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Daehyun tossed and turned restlessly in his bed. No matter what he did, he couldn’t fall asleep. He’d tried warm milk, he’d tried hot chocolate, he’d tried relaxing music – he had even tried counting sheep.  _Nothing_  was working. It’d been like this for the past four nights. For four nights and three days, Daehyun hadn’t seen Youngjae. If he wasn’t going crazy before, he definitely was now.

Last time he saw his Jae, they kissed and then cuddled all night and it had been perfect. If Daehyun had known that that would be the last time he saw Youngjae, he definitely would’ve kissed the younger boy sooner.

As much as Dae hated to admit it, he’d kissed  _a lot_  of people before, men and women alike, but Youngjae was by far the best kiss of Daehyun’s life. It was sweet, just gentle lips on lips, no tongue (which Daehyun was kind of thankful for since he didn’t know how much self-control he’d have if there was) and yet it was full of all the emotions they felt for each other but were too afraid to say. Daehyun couldn’t deny the electric shock he felt pass through him when he  _finally_ felt the precious boy’s soft, pink, plump lips on his. It would be a lie to say Dae had never fantasised about kissing (amongst other things) Youngjae, but the real thing was so much better than any of his fantasies.

With a huff, Daehyun threw back his covers and got out of bed. He flopped lazily down on the couch and turned on the TV (although he wasn’t really paying attention to what was on). He couldn’t sleep, and if he couldn’t sleep he couldn’t dream, and if he couldn’t dream, he couldn’t see Youngjae, and if he couldn’t see Youngjae… He didn’t want to do anything.

• • • • • •

Daehyun looked around the waiting room of the medical clinic impatiently. It was all grey and yellow walls (the yellow was a failed attempt to cheer people up) and incomprehensible artwork.

“Jung Daehyun,” a middle-aged lady called out after what felt like hours to Daehyun.

“That’s me!” He said happily, standing up and walking over to the lady.

“You have an appointment with Doctor Lee, yes?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Daehyun nodded.

The lady, who Daehyun assumed was a nurse, wrote something down on her clipboard and then smiled up at him.

“Okay, right through here,” she led him to a door that was labelled  _Dr Lee_ , told him to just head through, and then left to deal with other patients.

Hesitantly, Daehyun entered the office.

“Ah, Jung Daehyun, I presume?” The doctor said.

“Yes,” Daehyun bowed respectfully, “Thank you for seeing me,”

“It’s my pleasure,” Dr Lee gestured for Daehyun to take a seat. “What can I do for you?”

“Ah, well, I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” He said.

“I see,” the doctor wrote something on his notebook. “Have you been over-sleeping a lot before this?”

‘ _Yes_.’ He thought.

“No,” he lied.

“Uh-huh,” he wrote something else. “Do you have a history of insomnia?”

‘ _No._ ’

“Yes,” he swallowed the lump growing in his throat. Daehyun wasn’t used to lying. He was afraid that he would get caught and the doctor wouldn’t give him what he needs to see Jae.

“Alright, and for how long have you been sleep-deprived?”

‘ _Five nights._ ’

“A few weeks,”

“Mmm,” the doctor nodded. “Well, I can give you a prescription for a sleeping pill called  _Burenol_. It’s not very strong, but it’s effective. Try that for a week and if it doesn’t work, come back and see me,”

He passed Daehyun the prescription and bid him goodbye.

Daehyun’s heart was beating extremely fast. Partially because he was still nervous that he’d suddenly be arrested for lying to a doctor, and partially with the adrenaline rush that came from doing the wrong thing and getting away with it. The first thing he did was find a chemist and get the prescription. He paid for the medicine (still afraid that the prescription was really a coded message saying he was a lying druggie and to arrest him) and he swore, he never walked to the bus stop faster.

When he got home all he wanted to do was finally go to sleep, but he changed his mind when he saw Yongguk sitting at the table, a brooding look on his face.

“Hyung, are you okay?” He asked, taking a seat next to Yongguk.

“No, I’m not okay. I’m… I’m a pervert and a creep and I should be arrested for the thoughts I’m having about a damn teenager! I mean, I know I’m a playboy and I’ve done some pretty shady things but I never… I don’t do things that are illegal. And god damn it, now I’ve gone and fallen for a minor!”

“We’re talking about Junhong, right?” Daehyun clarified. He still wasn’t used to Yongguk going after only one person for longer than a day.

“Yes, we’re talking about Junhong!” Yongguk buried his face in his hands. “He’s so young, Dae. There’s a  _six year_  age difference between us. He’s still young and he’s so messed up, his best friend is in a coma and he doesn’t even live at home because his parents don’t care about him. The last thing he needs is a twenty-three year old confessing his love for him,”

“Did you ever think that maybe he loves you too?” Daehyun asked quietly. He remembered when he thought that Youngjae didn’t love him back, and now, even though the younger hasn’t actually said it yet, Daehyun was positive his love wasn’t unrequited.

“Even so, what about the age gap?” Yongguk repeated.

“Who cares about the age gap?!” Daehyun snapped. He didn’t mean to shout at his hyung, but Yongguk was being completely unreasonable. “So what if he’s only seventeen? He’ll be legal in a year anyway! Aish, it’s like you’re purposely trying to find a way to stop yourself from being happy! From what you’ve told me about this boy, he really likes you too and you’re just going to sit here moping because of some stupid numbers instead of going and getting him before someone else does! Man up hyung, seriously!”

‘ _At least you’re in love with a real person,_ ’ he silently added.

Yongguk stared in shock at his friend. Daehyun wasn’t the kind of person who just got mad for no reason. He rarely raised his voice and almost never spoke rudely to Yongguk.

Realising that what Daehyun said was true, he nodded, stood up from the table and got his jacket.

“You’re right, Dae,” He smiled his signature gummy smile. Yongguk went to leave, but then turned back to Daehyun and said “You don’t mind if I-”

“Go get him, Guk,” Daehyun smiled at his hyung.

• • • • • •

Yongguk had never been more nervous than he was right now. He had called Zelo and asked if he wanted to go to the café for lunch with him. To his delight, Junhong said yes (and maybe it was just wishful thinking on Yongguk’s part, but he thought Junhong sounded a little too enthusiastic). Now, here he was, standing outside the Moon household, working up the courage to knock on the door. When he finally did, it was Mrs Moon who opened it.

“Hello Mrs Moon-ssi,” Yongguk said uneasily, bowing to the surrogate mother of the boy he was about to confess to. “Uh, is Junhong in?”

“Yes, he’ll be down in just a moment,” Mrs Moon smiled kindly.

“Oh, okay then, I’ll just wait,” Yongguk said, rocking back on his heels.

“Yongguk-ssi, I want to thank you,” she said softly.

“Thank me? What for?”

“Jongup has told me about Junhong’s friend and the bullying. It shows too. He walks around looking so sad all the time. The only time I see him smile is when he talks about his time with you,”

Yongguk was never the kind of person to blush. Not ever. Not when he was six and got an anonymous love letter. Not when he was ten and confessed to the first girl he liked. Not when he was thirteen and had his first kiss. Not when he was fifteen and his parents gave him  _the talk_. Not when he was seventeen and lost his virginity. Never. Although it was no surprise to him, that he was blushing deep crimson right now.

“No, no,” he shook his head, “If anything, I should be thanking you. You took him in and you didn’t even know him. I just… I couldn’t stand knowing he was living on the streets,”

Her smile broadened into a knowing one.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” she whispered.

“I-I… h-how… I d-don’t… h-he…” he took a deep breath to compose himself. He looked at the floor as he spoke. “I know it’s wrong and you probably don’t approve, but I won’t stop seeing him. If it’ll make you more comfortable, I won’t say or do anything about it until he’s legal,”

Mrs Moon looked thoroughly offended.

“Don’t approve? Of course I approve! What I don’t approve of is you waiting a year to make a move! You make him happy, Yongguk-ssi. Why on earth would I disapprove of that? I’m not one of those traditional people who discriminate against age or gender. Love is love. You obviously love him, so who am I to stand in the way of two people’s happiness? Besides, if anyone deserves happiness it’s Junhong. He’s been through so much,”

“I... Um, wow. Thank you, Mrs Moon,” He smiled his gummy smile.

“Don’t thank me,” she said. “Just make him happy,”

“I will,” Yongguk nodded. He meant it, too. He would do anything he could to make sure Zelo was never sad again.

“Yongguk hyung?” Junhong’s voice came from behind Mrs Moon.

Yongguk broke out into a wide grin.

“I’m here, Zelo,” he replied happily. Zelo ran past Mrs Moon and gave Yongguk a quick hug. Behind Zelo’s back, Mrs Moon winked at Yongguk. He smiled back, getting her message.

“Bye umma,” Zelo waved and started to drag Yongguk down the road.

“You call her ‘umma’?” Yongguk wondered as they walked along the street.

The young boy blushed and nodded, which Yongguk found extremely cute.

“Y-Yeah, she said I could and, well, she treats me like her son. She doesn’t even pick favourites between me and Jongup hyung,” Zelo told him.

“That’s good. I’m glad you have a real family now, Junhong-ah,” Yongguk grabbed his hand, giving it a small squeeze. They stopped walking when they reached an empty park.

“What’s wrong? I thought we were going to the café?” the ramen-haired boy said, confused.

“We are, I just,” Yongguk’s heart beat sped up. “I need to talk to you,”

“O-Okay hyung,” Zelo said, his eyebrows furrowed, worry in his eyes.

“Zelo, I… The way I feel about you… It’s more than just friends. I know it’s wrong and you probably don’t feel the same, but I need you to know. I’m in love with you and it’s scary because I’ve never been in love before. I thought I had and then I met you and it was this whole new feeling,” Yongguk chanced a look into the teen’s eyes, relieved when he saw nothing but happiness. “Please say something,”

Zelo was in heaven. Yongguk loves him! His love wasn’t one-sided! They could be together and eventually move in together and start a family and live happily ever after.

“Y-you lo-love me?” He asked, a small smile making its way onto his face.

“I love you,” Yongguk stated with a nod.

Before Yongguk could even form a coherent thought, Zelo’s lips were on his. It was just a peck, but it was enough to send Yongguk into a frenzy.

“I love you too, Gukkie,” Zelo was bright red.

‘ _He loves me? HE LOVES ME!_ ’

Yongguk brought his lips back to Zelo’s in a heated kiss. Zelo’s arms were around Yongguk’s neck while Yongguk had his hands snaked tightly around the other’s torso. The elder swiped his tongue across Zelo’s thick bottom lip, begging for permission that the younger gave. Yongguk could feel his blood rush south the more he continued to ravish the other boy’s mouth.

He forced himself off of the younger boy, trying not to stare too long at Junhong’s swollen and kiss bruised lips.

“We should probably go to the café before I do something inappropriate,” Yongguk said, panting. Zelo just went bright red and nodded, taking Yongguk’s hand.

“Yongguk?”

“Yeah?”

“Can this… Can this be a-a date?” he asked shyly.

Yongguk kissed the top of Zelo’s head.

“Of course it can, Junhongie. Can I tell you a secret though?” Zelo nodded excitedly. “I’ve kind of pretended they were all dates,”

Zelo giggled and confessed “me too,”

Neither boy could believe that the other felt the same way. They were both so happy, especially now that they didn’t have to pretend anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

Daehyun had never been so happy to open his eyes and see himself surrounded by a field of green grass that was surrounded by tall tree. He looked up at the sky and noticed that it was dark grey. It looked like it had been storming; the grass was wet, it was drizzling, there were dark clouds up ahead and it smelled strongly of rain.

 _'Jae will be scared_ ,' he thought, feeling horrible for leaving Youngjae alone. He made his way over to the cabin.

“Jae Jae?” he called as he pushed the door open, “are you here?”

He paused, listening for any sound at all. When he heard a small sniffle coming from the bedroom, his stomach dropped. His Youngjae was crying. He wasted no time entering the room. His eyes landed on a doona-covered lump on the bed. He walked over to the bed and sat beside Youngjae.

He placed a hand on Youngjae's shoulder, making the younger only nuzzle his face further into the pillows.

“Jae, baby, tell me what's wrong?” he cooed softly. Youngjae stirred a little, before finally bringing his face away from the pillow. His eyes were red and puffy, tear streaks were still on his cheeks. Daehyun wanted nothing more than to kiss him until he forgot his own name.

“D-Dae? Is it y-you?” his voice was small, almost scared.

Daehyun's lips twitched upwards in a smile and he nodded. “It's me,”

Not even a full second later, Youngjae had leapt out of the covers and onto Daehyun with such a force that Daehyun had fallen back onto the bed with Youngjae now on top of him. His arms wrapped around Dae's neck, his nose nuzzling affectionately into the spot where Dae's neck met his shoulder. Youngjae breathed in deeply, trying to savour the musky scent that is Jung Daehyun.

Daehyun chuckled softly at how cute Youngjae is. He allowed his hands to wander down to Jae's waist; wrapping them tightly around the other boy and keeping him pressed firmly to Dae's chest. Daehyun knew he would be fully content if he could spend the rest of his life with this boy in his arms.

“Are you going to tell me why you were crying, now?” Dae asked quietly. The elder felt Youngjae shake his head, his hair tickling Dae's neck. Daehyun placed a small kiss on Youngjae's – now bright pink – cheek and added a small “please?”

Reluctantly, Youngjae moved away. He went to sit up, but Daehyun still had a vice-like grip on his waist and was refusing to let him go any time soon. Youngjae settled for resting on Dae's chest.

“I'm not too heavy, am I?” Youngjae asked, not wanting to hurt the boy.

Daehyun shook his head fondly.

“Of course not, Jae Jae, you're absolutely perfect,” he pecked the tip of Youngjae's nose, making the younger boy go even redder. “Now, why were you so sad?”

“W-Well,” Youngjae mumbled, “it's been storming a lot – and you know I'm afraid of storms – and last time there was a storm, you were here and that made it okay because when I’m around you I feel safe and you care and I felt so lonely since you weren't here and I... I missed you,” he finished, slightly out of breath.

He hadn't looked at Daehyun while he was talking, but once he finished he spared a glance at the boy beneath him. Daehyun was looking at him with the softest expression Youngjae had ever seen; it was a look of utmost love and adoration and it completely melted Youngjae's heart. Daehyun leaned up ever so slightly, but it was enough for Youngjae to be able to feel his soft breath against his cheek. Youngjae moved his face a little closer, his nose grazing Daehyun's. Just as Daehyun was about to close the minuscule gap between them and claim Youngjae's lips (like he'd been wanting to do again since their first kiss) the younger boy shot back, his face crimson, his gaze not meeting Dae's.

“ _Jae_!” Daehyun whined childishly. “What was _that_? I want to kiss you! Don't you wanna kiss me?” he pouted cutely.

“I-I do, I just didn't... I mean, I wasn't sure if you – um, I just – c-can I?”

Daehyun connected their lips in a kiss that bordered on needy. Much to both boys' disappointment, the kiss ended much too soon.

“You don't need to _ask_ to kiss me, Youngjae,” he told him. “You don't need to ask for something that's already yours,”

Youngjae's heartbeat sped up.

' _Mine_.' he thought happily.

“I-I am too, y-you know,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“What's that?” Daehyun asked, brushing his thumb across Jae's cheek.

“Yours,” he said simply.

Daehyun's eyes clouded over. He moved his hand to the back of Youngjae's neck, pulling him down for a passionate kiss. Youngjae squeaked a little at the force, but quickly relaxed. Daehyun's tongue came out to swipe across Youngjae's lower lip as he moved his other hand down to grip the younger's hip, pulling their lower bodies together. Youngjae gasped at the sensation and Daehyun took the opportunity to slip his tongue in between Youngjae's lips. The younger boy moaned at the new feeling and Daehyun used his strength to flip them over so that Youngjae was underneath him.

Daehyun broke their kiss, panting hard. His eyes took in Youngjae's heaving chest, red, kiss-swollen lips and messed up hair. Dae felt extremely smug knowing he was the one that caused this picture of complete hotness.

And then, without a second thought, Daehyun said something that Youngjae never thought he'd ever hear from anyone.

“Yoo Youngjae, I am  _so_  in love with you,”


	12. Chapter 12

For a second, the room went completely still. Both boys held their breath, waiting for the other to say something.

Panic took over Youngjae. Was Daehyun joking? Was he playing with him the entire time? Was this some cruel prank?

“Don't joke around,” Youngjae's voice was hoarse. He averted Daehyun's gaze, “not about this,”

The Busan boy felt like an ice cold had had just wrapped itself around his heart and squeezed as tight as it could until it burst.

Youngjae didn't believe him.

' _Well_ ,' Dae thought stubbornly, ' _I guess I'll just have to show him_ ,'

“I'm not joking, Youngjae,” Daehyun said seriously. “I love you and I’ll say it until you believe it. God, haven't I shown you how I feel about you? When I’m awake, you're  _all_  I think about and I can't wait until I fall asleep so I can see you! I'm sorry I haven't been here the past few days; I know you were scared and I felt so bad. I didn't want you to think I’d just abandoned you because that's the very last thing I ever want to do. I want to be with you forever, Jae Jae. I couldn't sleep.

“That's why I wasn't here. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't fall asleep because my body had over-dosed on sleep. And for what little hours I  _did_ sleep, I didn't dream. I mean, what's the point of sleeping if I'm not able to see you? So, I did what I had to do to see you; I lied to my doctor and got myself some sleeping pills and now we can be together whenever!” he finished happily (almost proudly, Youngjae noted.)

Youngjae was hit with more emotions than he could count, but the most prominent one was love. He had always known he loved Daehyun, but now, he knew Daehyun loved him just as much.

The next emotion he felt took over the love in an instant; worry. Sleeping pills could be extremely dangerous if your body didn't need them.

“Dae,” Youngjae frowned a little, “you shouldn't have taken those pills. They could seriously harm you if you don't need them,”

“But I  _do_  need them,” he cupped Youngjae's face and placed a lingering kiss on the other's addictive lips, “I needed to see you,”

Youngjae shook his head.

“No, Dae. Please. Promise me you won’t take them again; promise that when you wake up you'll flush them down the toilet and never do that again,”

Fear and hurt. Those were the emotions that flashed across Daehyun's handsome features.

“Don't you want to see me too?”

“Of course I do! I want nothing more than to ride off into the sunset with you and live happily ever after, but I  _need_  you to be healthy. Don't you see? I don't want you to hurt yourself,” he gave Dae a small smile, “because I lo... I lov... I...”

' _Come on, Youngjae,_ ' he urged himself, ' _say it! You love him and he loves you so just say it!_ '

But it was hard for Youngjae. Apart from Junhong (and even that was rare), he hadn't said those words to anyone in over ten years. Those words – those three, tiny, pesky words – held so much weight on them. They were a promise. A promise to protect and stand by someone forever and never leave their side; no matter what they do. It was a hard promise to make; but an unnervingly easy promise to break.

He looked up at Daehyun pleadingly, begging him to understand.

The Busan boy kissed Youngjae's forehead.

“I know, baby, I know,” his words soothed Youngjae, “you don't have to say it yet,”

“Thank you for being so understanding, Dae,” he kissed Daehyun. “but, I still need you to promise not to take the pills again,”

Daehyun let out a reluctant sigh. “Okay, I promise,”

Youngjae smiled and pulled on the collar of his shirt, their mouths meeting in an explosive lip-lock. Youngjae opened his mouth for Daehyun, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Dae's fingers toyed with the hem of Youngjae's shirt before breaking the kiss to silently ask permission to remove it; he knows how self-conscious Youngjae is of his scars. Youngjae bit his lip and nodded, lifting his arms to help Daehyun get it off.

The elder gripped the younger's wrists gently, turning them to see the horrid vertical lines that graced each arm. The thought of Youngjae in pain made Daehyun feel sick to the stomach. He pressed small, butterfly kisses to every scar on each of his angel's arms.

His lips then attached themselves to Jae's neck, placing open-mouthed kisses on every patch of skin he could reach. Youngjae moaned loudly when Daehyun sucked on his pulse point, creating a red mark. That moan went straight to Daehyun's lower regions as he felt himself getting hard. Youngjae slid his hands underneath Daehyun's shirt, his fingertips tracing the lines of Dae's abs.

“J-Jae, maybe we should stop,” Daehyun almost pleaded as his pants became unbearably tight.

Youngjae looked offended.

“What? Why? Don't you want me Dae Dae?” he said innocently, biting his lip and dragging his fingernails lightly down Dae's torso (letting him know that the message behind his words was less than innocent.)

Daehyun groaned. When did Youngjae become so seductive?!

“Yes, I want you! I've lost count of how many times I’ve fantasised about this moment,”

And it was true; he often found himself thinking about what he would do if he and Youngjae were ever in this situation. In none of his fantasies did he ever try and  _stop_  them.

“Then why?”

“Because I don't want to force you into anything,”

“You aren't; I want to do this and I want to do it  _with you_ ,” Youngjae said sincerely. He removed his hands from the elder's shirt and tangled them in his hair instead. “But, you'll have to be extra careful because I’m a virgin,”

Dae swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and smiled warmly at Youngjae. He nodded and swooped down for a quick kiss.

“I wouldn't even  _think_  of hurting you,” he said, and Youngjae knew how much he meant it.

In nearly no time, their clothes were on the floor. Daehyun was kissing Youngjae passionately; trying to distract him from the pain in his backside as Dae scissored him. Youngjae cried out loudly when Dae's fingers found his prostate. A few more minutes, and his fingers were replaced by something much larger.

Youngjae groaned when Dae pushed the tip in. Daehyun leaned down and whispered sweet nothings into his Jae's ear as a form of distraction. Daehyun wanted to move  _so badly_ , but he didn't want to hurt Youngjae, so he waited. Youngjae nodded and he moved in a little more. Youngjae kissed him and looked him in the eye.

“Do it,” he muttered. Daehyun looked hesitant, but did as Youngjae asked. He pushed in to the hilt, both boys moaning at the wonderful feeling.

It only took him a few thrusts to find Youngjae's spot again, but he knew when he did. Youngjae saw white and he screamed out Daehyun's name. Daehyun was already close. He wrapped a hand around Youngjae's member and pumped him in time with his thrusts.

“Dae, I’m close,” he whispered against the older boy's lips.

“Me too,” Daehyun replied, throwing his head back in ecstasy.

One more hard thrust, and Youngjae had his release. Daehyun kept his hand around him, milking out the other's orgasm.

“D-Do you w-want me to p-pull o-out?” Daehyun asked. He didn't want to, but he didn't want to make Youngjae uncomfortable on his first time.

“No!” Youngjae replied hastily. He blushed a whole new shade of red, “I want you to cum inside of me,”

That sentence was what made Daehyun lose it. He kept thrusting into the younger until they were both completely spent before pulling out of Youngjae. The younger whimpered a little, in pain and suddenly feeling rather empty.

Dae rolled off of Youngjae, laying at his side and pulling the younger into a tight embrace.

“Dae?” Youngjae asked shyly.

“Mmm?” Dae responded, leaving a kiss on Youngjae's temple.

“Was I good?”

Daehyun pulled him tighter to his chest, his arms firmly around Youngjae's waist.

“The best,” he kissed Youngjae's soft lips. It was true. Youngjae was the best Daehyun had ever had because – for the first time – it wasn't just sex; it was love.

“Really?” he looked up at Daehyun with hopeful eyes that were much too cute for what they just did.

Daehyun nodded with a genuine smile that reassured Youngjae instantly.

“You were amazing, Youngjae. I'm really proud you let me be your first,”

Youngjae couldn't have thought of a more perfect person to lose his virginity to. But he didn't say that. He only kissed Dae once more before snuggling into his chest.

“I love you,” Dae sighed happily.

“Me too,” Youngjae replied, pecking Dae's chest. “I promise I’ll say it some day soon,”

“It's alright baby. You're worth the wait,”

Youngjae's face heated up, but then paled considerably when he saw Daehyun starting to fade away.

' _No! You can't wake up now!_ '

“Dae,” he choked out, “you're waking up,”

Daehyun frowned as he looked down at his body that was in fact fading away.

“It's alright; I’ll always come back for you,” he said with a smile that it hurt him to fake.

“No pills!” Youngjae said frantically, trying to cling to Daehyun.

“No pills,” Dae nodded calmly, but on the inside he was anything but calm. When would be the next time he saw Youngjae?

“Come back soon, yeah?” Youngjae's usually soft voice was broken and there were unshed tears in his eyes. Daehyun kissed the crown of Youngjae's head. “Wait, Dae!” he called out, but it was too late; Daehyun was awake.

“I love you,” Youngjae mumbled dejectedly into the otherwise empty room, cursing himself for not being brave enough to say it when it mattered.


	13. Chapter 13

Yongguk banged on the door of Daehyun's bedroom for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

“Come on, Daehyun,” he called out, “you have to leave your room at some point, this is getting ridiculous!”

“Go away,” came Daehyun's muffled reply.

“No,” Yongguk may be tired, but he was nothing if not determined. “You've been locked in there for  _three weeks_. I’ve let you wallow in your sadness for that long – hell, I don't even know  _why_  you're wallowing – but ever since that damn sex dream you had, you've done nothing but mope!” Okay; he was nothing, if not determined  _and_  blunt. “I mean, seriously! When I said you were hiding a boyfriend under your bed, I was  _joking_. Is that who this 'Jay' person is? I mean, you were moaning his name pretty loudly so either, you've given up waiting, you need to get laid, or you've fallen in love with someone and just aren't telling me. Which one is it Dae? Talk to me,”

There was a long silence. Yongguk waited patiently behind the closed door, trying to catch his breath after his long monologue. And then there was a noise so small, Yongguk would've missed it if he wasn't listening so intently; Daehyun sobbed.

That was the last straw. Yongguk couldn't let his best friend be sad any longer. He  _was_  going to find out what was wrong, even if he killed both of them I the process.

“Okay, I'm coming in,” he said and didn’t bother waiting for a reply before he entered the room. The sight before him broke his heart more than anything.

Daehyun was curled up on his bed, his knees tucked tight into his chest as if he were an infant. His shoulders were shaking and his chest was heaving deeply from how hard he was crying. Broken sobs were leaving his lips – the same ones that were usually pulled into a bright smile. His eyes were squeezed shut tightly, almost as if he were trying to physically stop the tears from falling. And in his hands, clutched close to his chest like a safety blanket, was a sketch pad and a small bottle of pills.

“Dae,” Yongguk said with pity as he slowly made his way over to his friend's bed. He sat in front of Daehyun, placed an arm on his shoulder in an attempt at comfort, and pried away the pills to read the label. “Sleeping pills? Dae, why? These things are so bad for you,”

“I-I know, I pr-promised him I wouldn't u-use them a-again,”

“'Again'? Daehyun, you shouldn't need them in the first place and if you aren't still using them, then why are you holding them?”

“Because, I-I need t-to kn-know that I can st-still s-see him if I want-wanted to. I need to know h-he's n-not gone for-forever,”

“Who? See who? Who's not gone?”

“You'll think I’m crazy,” Daehyun sniffled now that his sobs had died down. He wiped the tears away from his eyes with his sleeves. “At first, even  _I_  thought I was crazy,”

“Tell me. I promise I will hold all judgement until the end,”

Daehyun nodded. Yongguk is his best friend and holding in all these feelings was driving Dae crazy.

“Well, remember that day at the cafe, and I told you I dreamt about a boy in a forest?” Yongguk nodded. “Well, I kept dreaming about him. It sounds weird, I know and it defies everything I know about dreams, but I did. It was always him, always the same forest, but it didn't feel like a dream. Like, if I didn't  _know_  I was dreaming; I would've thought it was all real. And he isn't just a random person I dream about either; I think he's a ghost or something. He told me about his life and he... he committed suicide. I’ve seen the scars and I know I sound like an insane person, but that isn't the weirdest thing. I’ve... I've fallen in love with him,” Yongguk gaped at Daehyun. “That's why I've been sleeping a lot and why I have the pills. I haven't seen him for three weeks (Daehyun blushed) and it's driving me crazy,”

“Dae...” Yongguk was at a loss for words. Out of everything Dae could've said, Yongguk would've never expected  _that_. “Daehyun, do you realise what you're saying right now?”

Daehyun frowned. “Yes! Do you think I  _want_  to be in love with my imagination?!”

“No, no, I'm sorry,” the rapper muttered. “Look, why don't you came have lunch with me and Zelo? I’m meeting him in half an hour and I think it would be good for you to get out of the house and socialise with people,” Daehyun shot him an icy glare that made Yongguk recoil. “I didn't mean it like that, Dae, I swear. I believe you, okay, I do. I just think that you need something to take your mind off your dream guy,”

“I don't know, hyung,”

“Please? Junhong really wants to meet you and it would mean a lot to me if you met him. For the first time since Jieun, I'm really serious about someone, Dae,” Daehyun looked up from the bed and met his friend's sincere eyes. “I want my best friend to meet the boy I know I’ll marry someday,”

If Daehyun cared about anything at the moment, he would've scowled at the mention of Jieun's name. She was Yongguk's first love and she was who made him the playboy he's now known for being. Yongguk loved her so much, and everyone thought she was in love with him too. But as it turned out, Jieun was 'in love' with a lot of guys at the same time; or at least, in love with their bank accounts.

“Okay, hyung, I’ll come with you,” Daehyun decided, thinking he should do at least this for Yongguk.

Yongguk gave Dae the brightest gummy smile he'd ever seen. Daehyun had to admit that seeing his best friend so happy made him a little happier too.

• • • • • •

“Gukkie!” Daehyun heard someone say happily as they approached the cafe. Daehyun looked around for the person the voice belonged to, but saw no one he thought Yongguk would date. His eyes widened as Yongguk walked up to a tall boy with curly hair and pressed a firm kiss to his lips.

“Hey, baby,” Yongguk replied, nuzzling his nose into the taller boy's cheek, “I missed you,”

“You saw me yesterday morning,” Zelo replied, rolling his eyes despite the fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

“I know, but it's been too long since then,”

Daehyun cleared his throat awkwardly to remind Yongguk he  _was_  still there.

“Oh sorry,” he smiled sheepishly and turned to the boy that was still in his arms. “Junhong, this is Daehyun. Daehyun, this is my Junhongie,”

“Hey,” Junhong beamed and waved at Dae, “it's nice to finally meet you. Oh, and you can call me Zelo. Uh, I would bow, but...” he glanced down at the tight hold Yongguk had around his waist.

Daehyun nodded and smiled, getting over the initial shock of seeing Yongguk being so... cute.

“It's nice to meet the guy who tamed the beast,” Daehyun smirked.

“Hey!” Yongguk pouted, making Junhong kiss it away.

Daehyun rolled his eyes and wet inside to sit at a table.

He reached into his satchel and pulled out his sketch book and a pencil. He closed his eyes, seeing the image of Youngjae clear in his mind. He missed Jae so much. He had no idea how hard it would be to be away from him. There were times when he wanted to take the pills and see his baby – it's not like Youngjae would even know – but he didn't because he promised Youngjae he wouldn't.

He was nearly done with his newest picture of Youngjae when the sketchbook was torn violently from his hands.

“What the fu-” he looked up to see it was Zelo who had taken the book and was now staring at the picture, wide-eyed.

“What is this?!” he asked angrily, showing the picture back to Dae.

“It's a draw-”

“THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!” he screamed, not caring that people were starting to stare. “Why are you drawing my hyung?! Are you one of the bullies? Is Yongguk in on it too? Were you just playing me so I could show you where Youngjae is and you can-”

“Youngjae?” Daehyun whispered.

“That's who you're drawing; isn't it?” Zelo said obviously, panting from shouting.

“Y-Yes, but how do  _you_  know Youngjae?”

Zelo stared at him like he had two heads. “Because he's my best friend. My umma,”

…“ _I had a friend named Junhong once”..._

“Junhong,” Daehyun muttered, realisation dawning on him.

“Yes?”

“You're Junhong!” he repeated loudly, a smile making its way onto his face.

“Wait, Dae... is Youngjae your dream guy?” Yongguk asked. He remembered Junhong told him that his best friend Youngjae tried to kill himself, and so had Dae's dream boy.

Daehyun nodded with wide, excited eyes.

“He's real! I knew it! I knew he was! He survived!” Daehyun gripped Zelo's shoulders and said; “Where is he? Is he okay?”

Zelo's face fell.

“What's going on?” Zelo frowned. He looked at Yongguk with watery eyes. “Is this some cruel prank?”

The elder immediately wrapped his arms around Junhong and kissed his cheek.

“No, not at all, baby. I wouldn't do that to you. I love you,” Yongguk whispered for only Junhong to hear. He pressed a barely-there kiss to Zelo's lips, letting their noses graze together as he moved his head away and looked back at Daehyun.

“Zelo, please, it's hard to explain and even harder to understand but I need to know where he is,” Dae pleaded.

“He's at the hospital. He's in a coma, Daehyun,” Zelo told him.

Daehyun's heart stopped, his mind empty and his body numb. Youngjae,  _his_  Youngjae, was in a coma. It took barely a second for Daehyun to grab his keys off the cafe table and storm out into the parking lot. He didn't care how rude he was being to Yongguk and Zelo; he just needed to see Youngjae.

Once he reached the hospital (speeding past three red lights to get there) he parked his car carelessly, taking up two parking spaces which he will probably get fined for, and ran up to the reception desk.

“What room is Yoo Youngjae in?” he asked shortly. The lady looked at him for a few seconds, processing his request, before typing the name into the computer before her.

“Room 213, ICU,” she replied after seconds that felt like years to Daehyun.

Not wasting any time, he to the Intensive Care Unit, searching desperately for room 213.

He found it and swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He opened the door hesitantly and walked in.

There, in the hospital bed connected to wires and a machine (the only thing keeping him alive), was the one and only Yoo Youngjae. He had the same brown hair, the same cute cheeks, the same pale skin, and when Daehyun gathered the courage to look, the same vertical scars.

Feeling suddenly faint, he collapsed into the chair by Youngjae's bedside. Reaching out, he grabbed Youngjae's soft, and somehow still warm, hand. He laced their fingers together and smiled at how perfectly they still fit, like two pieces of a puzzle.

He leaned over and pressed small kisses to Youngjae's cheeks and forehead before placing one on his cute pink lips.

“Come on, Youngjae,” Daehyun whispered, hoping somewhere deep down Youngjae could hear him “it's your turn to wake up,”


	14. Chapter 14

“Okay, so Daehyun has been dreaming of Youngjae hyung and fell in love with him?” Zelo asked Yongguk, hoping he heard him right.

“Yes,” Yongguk nodded, looking at the younger boy's face. He was frowning and biting his lip as he looked straight ahead, trying to make sense of everything Yongguk had just told him. The older felt a strong urge to kiss his boyfriend, but he thought it would be a little inappropriate, given the situation. Instead, he settled for taking Junhong's hand in his own. He saw pink dust Junhong's cheeks, making Yongguk feel proud.

“You realise how crazy this all sounds, right Gukkie?” Junhong tried to ignore the butterflies he got from Yongguk's touch and continue the conversation as they walked to the hospital.

“I know, trust me. I mean, I only found out about this 'dream boy' today! I thought he was going insane, but now I guess I just don't know what to believe,”

“But what if Youngjae wakes up and doesn't know who Daehyun hyung is? That’ll break his heart,”

“It is a possibility,” Yongguk frowned. He hadn't thought of that and he knew Daehyun wouldn't have. “You know what they say Junhongie; whatever will be, will be. If Youngjae and Daehyun are meant to be together, they will be,”

“I don't know how much of Daehyun's dream Youngjae is real, but I know that the Youngjae  _I know_  would like Daehyun very much,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. In fact, I think they'd be perfect together,”

“As perfect as us?” Yongguk said in a low voice so that only the two of them could hear and gave Zelo's hand a squeeze.

“Are we perfect?” his voice was small, but Yongguk could tell he was scared. And he was. Zelo was still not used to being treated with so much care that he expected Yongguk to get tired of him at any minute. He thought that that Yongguk would leave as soon as the 'vulnerable, damaged teen' novelty wore off.

“Junhong,” Yongguk said sincerely. They stopped walking. Yongguk turned to face Zelo, taking both of the younger's hands in his. “To me,  _you_  are perfect. This is going to sound so cheesy and cliché, but you complete me Choi Junhong. Before I met you, all I had was my career and even that was basically non-existent. Hell, it’s like everything fell into place when I met you. So yeah;  _we_  are perfect,”

Junhong had never felt so loved and wanted in his entire life. He wanted Yongguk to know that he felt the same; that his life changed for the better when they met, but he felt like words weren't strong enough. Instead, he wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Without a seconds hesitation, Yongguk snaked his arms tight around the younger's waist, holding him to his body desperately, almost afraid he’d disappear if Yongguk wasn't holding him. Zelo tilted his head to the side, letting Yongguk gain more access to his mouth. Neither pulled away until Yongguk let his hand wander down to Junhong's firm backside. The unfamiliar (yet not unwanted) feeling made Junhong remember that they were making out in the middle of the street.

He pulled away, letting his forehead rest on Yongguk's and whispered breathily; “I like it when you're cheesy and cliché,”

Yongguk chuckled, his deep voice sending chills of pleasure down Zelo's spine.

“I love you,”

“I love you too, Gukkie,” he said shyly. No matter how many times he said it, he couldn't get used to it. It just felt so unreal to him. The feeling of shyness didn't bother either of them, though. Yongguk personally loved the way Zelo blushed. “Anyway,” Zelo cleared his throat and began walking again, “we should get to the hospital. I hope Daehyun hyung is okay,”

“Me too,” the elder said grimly, a frown making its way onto his face.

It didn't take them long to get to the hospital. The lady at reception greeted Junhong as if they were old friends. The ramen-haired boy explained to Yongguk that she works here every day and knows Zelo because he frequents this hospital. He knew his way all around the area of the ICU. That broke Yongguk's heart. No one should be so familiar with a hospital that it was like their second home; especially not his precious Junhong.

They reached Youngjae's room fairly quickly. Yongguk was following Junhong, and Junhong was greeting staff as they walked. If Yongguk didn't know any better, he'd think Junhong was able to walk this path with his eyes closed.

Yongguk gripped the cold, sterilised door knob of Youngjae's private room (Mrs Moon insisted on paying for Youngjae to have a private room, something which both Junhong and Jongup were extremely grateful for) when Junhong stopped him.

“Yongguk wait,” Junhong pulled Yongguk's had away, “listen,”

They both stayed silent as they listened to what Daehyun was saying to Youngjae.

Both their hearts broke as they heard the honesty, sadness and absolute love in Dae's voice as he spoke to his beloved Youngjae.

• • • • • •

Daehyun's mind raced as he looked at the sleeping form of his Jae. How did things end up like this? One day he was just a regular guy, working at a coffee shop, taking online courses at uni and hoping to find someone to love. The next day he  _had found_  love, but he found it in the form of an imaginary person. Now, this beautiful person wasn't imaginary, but really a boy in a coma as a result of attempted... Daehyun shudders every time he even thinks of Youngjae hurting himself.

“Youngjae,” Daehyun's voice was thick with tears he refused to shed; crying wouldn't help Youngjae, he had to be strong for his angel, “I don't know if you can hear me or not, but god do I hope you can. I love you. I know I've said it, but I need you to understand that I really do. I love you more than anything and I’m not going to leave you. I’ll be with you every single day until you wake up. And you  _will_  wake up. I know it. You're so strong, Jae. You have no idea how strong you are. Even though you're right here, it's been weeks since I've really seen you and I miss you like crazy. I feel like I'm dying inside every day I don't hear your voice. I stare at those pills and I nearly pray for myself to break and take them so I can see you, but I don't because I promised you I wouldn't. It's okay though; you'll wake up soon and you'll come back to me. I know you will because I know that you love me too,”

Daehyun waited. He wasn't quite sure what he was waiting for, but he still waited. Maybe he was waiting for a reply. Some shy, cute, comment from Youngjae about not being good enough (to which Daehyun would kiss him and  _show_  him just how good he really is.)

Upon realising that he wasn't going to hear anything from the younger, he stood up from the chair he was sitting in and crept into bed beside Youngjae. He pulled the other boy's sleeping form closer to him and rested his chest on his Jae's chest. The faint sound of his heartbeat and the slight rise and fall of Youngjae's chest were the only things keeping Daehyun sane right now; those were the things that let Dae know Youngjae was real and, while only barely, alive.

With a chaste kiss to Youngjae's dry lips, Daehyun curled into Youngjae's side and tried to fall asleep. He hoped and prayed against all odds that, despite being right next to him, he would see his beautiful boy in his dreams.


	15. Chapter 15

As the week passed, Yongguk and Junhong were growing increasingly worried for Daehyun. He was losing his mind. He wouldn't eat, he could barely sleep, and when he did, he would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, screaming out for Youngjae. He had finally won his war with the nurses to let him sleep at the hospital with Youngjae.

_A knock came to the door, disturbing Daehyun's peace as he stroked Youngjae's hair, whispering sweet nothings to him and urging him to open his eyes. Daehyun ignored the knock, focusing all his attention on Youngjae. A short, child-looking nurse entered the room but Daehyun paid her no mind. He didn't want his Jae to wake up when he wasn't looking._

“ _Sir, visiting hours are over, you have to leave now,” she informed him softly._

“ _I can't leave him,” he didn't look up from Youngjae as he spoke to the nurse._

“ _Please, sir. It's against hospital policy to let visitors stay overnight,” she said, just as she had told him the past two nights._

“ _I don't care about your hospital's_ stupid _policy. I care about Youngjae and I'm not leaving him,” he growled._

_The last few nights he refused to leave, they had to resort to calling hospital security to carry him out kicking and screaming._

“ _I'm sorry, but I can't let you stay,”_

“ _What if he wakes up and no one's here? Huh? I promised him I wouldn't leave him and I'm not going to!”_

“ _Sir-”_

“ _No! You don't understand! He has no one else! If he wakes up in a hospital, surrounded by nurses and doctors and people he's never met before inspecting him like he's some science-fair project, he's going to get so scared and he'll recoil into himself! He_ needs _someone familiar here when he wakes up! He needs_ me _! Now, I'm not just going to abandon him because of some stupid rules!”_

“ _Why won't you let this go?!” she shouted back, finally losing her temper with the stubborn man. “Why won't you just accept that you might not be here when he wakes up?”_

“ _Because he's the love of my life you ignorant bitch!”_

_The room fell silent, apart from Daehyun's heaving breaths. The nurse looked stunned, if not a little offended. Daehyun himself was shocked. He rarely swore, let alone insulted people, and whenever he did, he'd feel bad about it and instantly apologise. Yet somehow, he didn't feel bad about it this time._

_The nurse sighed and left, behind her closing the door to the room._

“ _He's refusing to leave. Again,” she muttered to a doctor just outside the room._

_The door opened again and the doctor looked inside. He expected to get his head ripped off by the aggressive man inside, but what he got was the opposite._

“ _I'm sorry I got so angry, Jae,” Daehyun was whispering to the comatose boy, holding his hands lovingly. “I hope I didn't scare you. I know you hate violence and shouting, but she wouldn't let me stay and I can't leave you. I’m sorry I let my anger get the best of me, baby. I’m so sorry. It won't happen again; I’ll be good, I promise. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...”_

_The doctor watched on as Daehyun repeatedly apologised to someone who, most likely, couldn't hear him. He pursed his lips and closed the door, giving the two some privacy._

“ _Let him stay,” he told the nurse. “But when you go in to tend to Mr Yoo, give me a report on Mr Jung as well. He's become unhinged and I'd like to keep him under observation,”_

_The nurse nodded and re-entered the room._

“ _Well, the doc says you can stay,” she told the man._

_Daehyun's eyes lit up with happiness and he turned to Youngjae._

“ _Did you hear that Jae Jae? She's letting me stay with you!”_

_The nurse looked sadly at the couple before she left the room._

_Junhong was a little annoyed when the nurse informed him and Yongguk that Daehyun was being allowed to stay. Why could Daehyun stay when he couldn't? He knew Youngjae hyung longest. When the nurse told him it was just so they could keep an eye on him in case he did something stupid, his annoyance turned to concern._

“ _You mean like, suicide watch?” Junhong whispered. He couldn't bear another person close to him trying to commit suicide._

“ _Something like that, yes,” she nodded solemnly._

_And with that, Junhong broke down in Yongguk's arms._

“Well, Daehyun, it's time for Junhong and I to leave,” Yongguk said as visiting hours were coming to an end.

“Okay hyung,” Daehyun muttered, not taking his eyes off of Youngjae.

“Bye Daehyun hyung, bye Youngjae hyung,” Zelo muttered dejectedly as Yongguk pulled him out of the room. They could only hope Youngjae woke up soon, for everyone's sake.

“Do you want me to sing to you Jae Jae?” Daehyun asked. “I know you like it when I do,”

Daehyun thought back to the time he and Youngjae were cuddling in the bed in the cabin and Daehyun started humming a tune. Youngjae asked Dae to sing for him and so he did; he couldn't say no to his Jae. Youngjae loved it and started to ask him to sing for him more frequently.

Quietly, Daehyun started to sing.

“ _You don't have to have money, to make it in this world. You don't have to be skinny baby, if you wanna be my guy. Oh you just gotta be happy, but sometimes that's hard. Just remember to smile, smile, smile and that's a good enough start_ ,”

It's an English song he once sag to Youngjae, claiming it reminded him of the younger boy. Daehyun sang it to Youngjae quite often, and soon enough, they came to know it as their song.

“ _So, if you ain’t good looking, don't you let it get you down. And if you're love life ain't cooking baby, there'll be more fish around. Oh you just gotta stay happy, so put away that frown. So just remember to smile, smile, smile, and turn the world around,_ ”

It turns out both boys were at least nearly fluent in English. Daehyun loved learning new things about Youngjae.

“ _So just remember to smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. C'mon show us your teeth and what you got underneath_ ,”

Daehyun loves Youngjae's smile. It can brighten his day just by thinking about it.

“ _Cause everyone's got troubles, that’s the way the story goes. You don't have to use Hubble baby to see what's underneath your nose. Oh cause if you're feeling happy, that's the way to let it show. So just remember to smile, smile, smile, so everybody knows_ ,”

He hates it when his Jae is sad. Whenever Youngjae isn't smiling, Daehyun will do whatever it takes to change that.

“ _And it will make things so much better, when you're feeling low_.”

His smile makes Daehyun feel better, at least.

“ _Just remember to smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. C'mon show us your teeth and what you got underneath. Smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. C'mon show us your teeth. Just remember to smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. Smile, smile, smile. C'mon show us you teeth and what you got underneath. Smile, smile, smile. You gotta smile, smile, smile. Just remember to smile, smile, smile, and turn the world around_ ,”

When he finished, he expected Youngjae to hug him like he always did when he sang that song, but of course, he didn't.

“Look, Jae,” Daehyun said pulling a book out of the bag he had taken to the hospital. “I brought you a book too. It's  _Sleeping Beauty_ , I thought it fit, you know, because you're my sleeping beauty. At the end of the book she wakes up though – sorry about the spoiler – and I know that you're going to wake up too. You'll wake up and we'll be together,”

He opened the book and began to read.

“There once lived a king and queen who had no children, which made them very sad. Then one clay, to the queen’s delight, she found she was going to have a baby. She and the king looked forward with great excitement to the day of the baby’s birth. When the time came, a lovely daughter was born and they arranged a large party for her Christening. As well as lots of other guests, they invited twelve fairies, knowing they would make wishes for their little daughter, the princess...”

As he read, he thought about the day when he and Youngjae read this book to their own children – because he knew Youngjae would wake up and they'd live happily ever after, just like in the stories. They had to.

The princess in the story reminded Daehyun of Jae. She was gifted by the fairies with things like beauty, a beautiful voice, kindness. Youngjae had all of those things. Dae thought it was so unfair that Youngjae lived the life he had. Daehyun was going to change that. He would take Youngjae home with him and never let his parents near him again. He'd treat him like a princess, the way he deserved to be treated. He'd never hurt Youngjae, but he'd kill anyone who tried to.

“...And then, the prince kissed Sleeping Beauty and she awoke. The kingdom sprung back to life and cheered for the prince and princess. In just a few weeks, the two were wed and proved to the world that true love truly can conquer all. The end,”

Daehyun set the book aside and carefully crawled into bed beside Youngjae. Taking the younger boy's hand in his and holding it close to his chest, he laid his head on Youngjae's shoulder.

“That'll be us one day, Jae. Riding off into the sunset and living happily ever after,” he mumbled into Youngjae's shoulder, sleep finally catching up to him, “Our fairytale will have a happy ending. I just know it,”

His eyes drooped shut, his lids heavy.

“I love you, Jae Jae,” he whispered into the silence of the room.

But Daehyun was already asleep by the time Youngjae's hand tightened ever so slightly around his own.


	16. Chapter 16

Junhong decided to stay at Yongguk's that night. He didn't want to be alone and Yongguk had no objections to Zelo staying. They were silent as they drove back to Yongguk's apartment. Junhong was worried for both Daehyun and Youngjae hyungs now. He could clearly see that Daehyun was in love with him, but Zelo was afraid that if Youngjae didn't wake up soon, Daehyun would hurt himself to be with the other boy. Youngjae needed to wake up; and soon. Yongguk had never seen his best friend so angry. Daehyun was usually a happy person who hated confrontation. Never in his life had he called someone an 'ignorant bitch'. Daehyun was going off the rails and Yongguk knew it.

Neither spoke until they were both inside.

“Sorry it’s a mess,” Yongguk said, throwing the keys down onto the coffee table, “I, uh, wasn't expecting company,”

“Its fine, Gukkie,” Zelo pecked him on the cheek, “I'm not dating you for your apartment,”

Yongguk gave him a weak smile before pulling him into a tight hug. Zelo hugged back, letting one of his hands toy with the hair at the nape of the elder's neck. Yongguk needed Zelo right now; that much was obvious. He was so worried for his best friend. He's never been like this before.

“I'm so scared for him, Junhong,” he admitted, voice just above a whisper.

“I know you are, Gukkie, but that's okay. It's normal to be afraid for your best friend. He isn't acting rationally, but it'll all be okay in the end,” he spoke like he truly meant what he was saying, but in all honesty, he was just as scared as Yongguk.

“I don't know what I'd do if I lost him,” Yongguk pulled back just enough to look into Junhong's pretty brown eyes, “I don't know what I’d do if I lost either of you,”

Junhong gave him a small smile and a kiss on the lips.

“Well, I can't speak for Daehyun, but I know I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be right here with you no matter what,”

“I love you  _so much_ ,” the songwriter said before he crashed their lips together.

The force made Zelo stagger back until he fell onto the couch with Yongguk on top of him, their lips never parting. Hands roamed as Yongguk slid his tongue into the younger's mouth, desperate to have every part of Zelo he could. One of Junhong's hands tangled in Yongguk's hair as the other slid up the back of his shirt. He could feel every muscle move as he touched them and he felt proud knowing he caused it. Yongguk's hands were gripping tightly onto Junhong's hips as he pulled his body closer. Yongguk could feel himself getting hard as Junhong moaned into his mouth. It took all of his willpower not to rip off the younger boy's clothes. He knew Junhong wasn't ready for sex, at least, not yet, and he respected that. He could wait, really, he could, but sometimes it was hard for Yongguk to control himself; especially when he's got the world's most unintentionally sexy boyfriend.

They broke away when the need for oxygen became too strong.

“I love you too, Gukkie,” Junhong smiled brightly, although panting slightly.

“Junhong,” Yongguk said, suddenly sounding nervous, “I've been wanting to talk to you about something,”

“I-It's not sex again, right? Because that was awkward enough the first time,” he said, blushing bright pink (so pink it rivalled the first sex talk and he had to confess that he had as much sexual experience as a baby penguin.)

“No, baby,” Yongguk chuckled and kissed Zelo's forehead. His nerves came back and he started to ramble, “I've just been thinking – I mean, you don’t have to, it's just an idea – but I thought we could maybe – uh, I’ve been looking at some small houses in the area they – they'd be good for two people, you know – if you want to – I don't want to force you but-”

“Yongguk!” Zelo cut him off from his rant sharply.

“Yes?” Yongguk asked his voice laced with poorly concealed embarrassment.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“...Yes,”

“Yes,”

“Yes?”

“Yes,”

“Yes?!”

“Yes!”

And just like that, they were once again kissing like there was no tomorrow. Yongguk's arms were holding Zelo close to him, Zelo was in return massaging Yongguk's scalp resulting in soft mewls from the older man. Yongguk detached his lips from the younger's and let his head rest against Junhong's shoulder.

“I'm really glad you came tonight, Junhong. I really needed something to take my mind off of things,” he pressed a butterfly kiss to Zelo's clothed shoulder.

His breath and his heart stopped when he felt small, nimble fingers unbuckling his belt.

“J-Junhong, w-what are y-you do-doing?” he stuttered out.

“I'm taking your mind off of things,” he replied with a small shrug.

“Junnie,” he grabbed Junhong's wrist to stop him. As much as he wanted Zelo, he wanted him on the younger's terms. He wanted to do it because Zelo wanted to, not because Yongguk was frustrated in more ways than one. “You don't have to do this if you don't want to,”

“I want to, I do. I may not be ready to actually do  _it_  yet but I need to start somewhere right? I know that one day, probably soon, I will want to have sex. And I know that when I  _do_  lose my virginity, it'll be with you. I know you'll wait and I love you even more for it, but I also know you're a grown man and you have needs. I'd rather it be me fulfil those needs than anyone else,”

“I'd never cheat on you; you know that right?”

“I know!” Zelo exclaimed, not wanting Yongguk to feel bad. Junhong knows Yongguk loves him more than anything. “But, I want to and I want to please you. So will you please quit trying to stop me and just let me blow you already?”

Without giving Yongguk a chance to say anything Zelo unbuckled the belt and slid down the zipper. He swallowed the nervous lump in his throat as he slid down Yongguk's jeans and boxers. Yongguk let out a small groan as the cold air met his semi-erection.

“Um, I'm new at this, so I'm sorry if I'm bad,” Zelo mumbled, red-faced.

“Junhong,” Yongguk kissed him roughly, yet with care at the same time, “I've been waiting for this moment since the first time I saw you with a god damn milkshake,”

Knowing that Yongguk had been thinking of this for so long gave Junhong an all new determination. Teasingly, he kissed the head of Yongguk's arousal, earning a loud moan. He didn't waste any time taking the elder into his mouth, sucking Yongguk like he was his favourite flavour lollipop. He winced a little as he took more of him in, trying to control his gag reflex. Experimentally, he dug his tongue into the slit, tasting the pre-cum and deciding it could've tasted worse. Yongguk let out a loud moan (verging on a scream) when Junhong licked the sensitive vein from base to tip. He felt his stomach tighten and he knew he was close.

“Junhong, s-stop, I-I'm going to c-cum,” he managed to say, but Junhong didn't stop. Instead he brought a hand up to the base of Yongguk's member.

His hand pumped him fast, as his mouth worked slowly, sending all kinds of pleasure rippling through the elder's body.

“ _Junhong_!” he cried out as he came into the younger's mouth. Zelo swallowed all of Yongguk's seed before releasing Yongguk's shaft and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“So much better than a milkshake,” Zelo winked, pulling up Yongguk's pants as the elder still seemed out of breath.

“Are you sure that was your first time?” Yongguk asked, holding his arms out for Junhong, who cuddled cutely into his chest like a kitten. Zelo chuckled and nodded. “Then I am one lucky guy,” he kissed the crown of Zelo's head. He wasn't going to say it was the best head he'd ever received, but with a bit more practise, he damn well could be. Junhong was definitely a natural. “Do you need me to, uh,  _help_  you?”

Zelo shook his head. “I kinda wanna wait for it all until my first time,”

“I'll make sure it's perfect,”

“If it’s with you, it will be,”

And just like that, they fell asleep, not even caring that they were still seated in an uncomfortable position on the couch. Everything was perfect and they had no worries in the world.

At least, until morning, that is. They received a call from Daehyun, asking them to come to the hospital because the doctor wanted to talk to them all together. Stupidly, Junhong let himself get his hopes up.

When they got there, Daehyun was still on Youngjae's bed, snuggled tight into his side. Yongguk sat on the chair by the bed with Junhong on his lap.

The doctor entered the room with a nurse beside him. The doctor was holding a clipboard and the nurse was holding a syringe. Something in the back of Yongguk's mind told him that syringe was to keep Daehyun at bay after the news they were about to receive.

“You are all the friends and family of Yoo Youngjae, yes?”

“Y-Yes,” Daehyun spoke up for the first time since Yongguk and Zelo had got there.

“I'm afraid Mr Yoo has not been showing any signs of waking up,” he said grimly.

“He will,” Daehyun said firmly.

“We are a very busy, very popular hospital and we have a code of conduct that only allows us to keep unresponsive coma patients on life support for three months before we have to switch them off. I know this is a lot to take in, but the end of Youngjae's three months is nearing and you all need to discuss what you are going to do. If you choose not to switch him off, we are allowed to keep him on for another month but after that, if he still shows no signs of waking, we'll have no choice in the matter,”

“But...” Junhong whispered, “If we switch him off, he'll die. Won't he?”

“I'm afraid so,” the doctor hung his head low. “I'll leave you alone now, but please note that the sooner you make this decision, the better,”

The doctor left the room.

Daehyun said nothing. He just curled himself into a ball, buried his face into Youngjae's chest, and for the first time since he found the real Youngjae, he let himself cry.

He couldn't be strong anymore.


	17. Chapter 17

Daehyun cried himself to sleep that night.

You couldn't even imagine the mixture of joy and sadness he felt when he opened his eyes and found himself standing in a field surrounded by forest and across from a small cabin. His eyes widened as it dawned on him...

He was  _finally_  dreaming.

Not wanting to waste another second, he sprinted into the cabin, calling out Youngjae's name.

“Youngjae! Baby! I'm here!” he called out. Without any warning, a brown-haired boy flew into his arms, holding him so tight he thought he'd suffocate. “I'm here, baby, I'm here,” he kept repeating, running his hands through Youngjae's soft hair.

A loud sob racked through Youngjae's body, making Daehyun feel like someone just punched him in the stomach. He hated it when Youngjae cried.

“I-I didn't th-think you'd c-come b-back for m-me! I thought y-you f-forgot or-or did-didn't c-care,” he sobbed, his words muffled by Daehyun's chest. “I thought I'd be h-here alone for-forever,”

“Yoo Youngjae, there's nothing I care about more than you!” he pressed a kiss to one of Youngjae's chubby cheeks. It even surprises him how much he missed kissing them. “And I’d never leave you alone, not forever,”

“I kn-know, I just thought-”

“It's okay, it doesn't matter. I'm here now,” he said.

“Yeah but for how long?”

Daehyun's face fell.

“I don't know,” he said, “let's just make the most of it,”

He swooped down and captured Youngjae's lips in a sweet kiss. Youngjae responded eagerly, clutching tightly to Daehyun's shirt. After not seeing each other for so long, both boys were desperate to have as much of each other as they could. Daehyun moved his mouth to Youngjae's creamy neck. God, he missed doing this. Youngjae's neck was so smooth and the younger made the most beautiful noises whenever Daehyun sucked on his pulse point.

“ _Dae_ ,” Youngjae moaned, leaning his head back letting Daehyun have more access. That moan went straight to Daehyun's lower region and Youngjae could tell as it was currently poking into his thigh, “Dae?”

“Mmm?” Dae hummed his reply, never taking his lips away from Youngjae's soft skin.

“Do you, uh, wanna take this reunion to the bedroom?” he asked, blushing deep red.

Daehyun groaned lowly. He wanted to.  _God_ , he wanted to. But he knew right now they couldn't.

' _Why do you do this to me Youngjae?_ '

“You have  _no idea_  how much I want to take you to that bed and do all kinds of un-mentionably dirty things to you all night long and never let you go (Youngjae went red, but he wanted that too), but right now I can't,” he said regrettably.

Youngjae frowned.

“What? Why?”

“Because last time we did that, I woke up with dirty sheets and a boner. If that happened right now it'd be pretty awkward considering I'm in a hospital and Yongguk and Junhong are in the room with me,”

Youngjae paled and his breathing quickened. Daehyun started to panic. Youngjae was gasping for air.

“Jae? Jae what's wrong? Talk to me baby!” he asked frantically.

“Y-You're in a-a ho-hospital! Wh-Why? D-Dae, you didn't try to... D-Did you? Please tell me that's not why you-you're here!”

Daehyun was confused.

“Tried to what?” suddenly, it hit him. Youngjae still didn't know. Youngjae still thought he was dead. “No! Youngjae no! It's not like that! I promised you I wouldn't hurt myself, didn't I?”

Youngjae's panic attack ended as he calmed down.

“Yes, you did,”

“And don't I always keep my promises to you?” he was rubbing Youngjae's back in an attempt to soothe him. It was working. Youngjae nodded. “Good. Youngjae, I need to tell you some stuff, so why don't we sit down, yeah?”

Youngjae nodded again as Daehyun led them to the couch.

“Okay, are you comfortable? This will be a lot to take in,” Daehyun said.

“Dae, what is it? You're scaring me,” Youngjae frowned, taking Daehyun's hand. Daehyun was his security blanket.

“Okay, first things first; remember when I told you about my friend, Yongguk, and I said he'd get along with your friend?” he continued when Youngjae nodded, “And I told you how he's in love with a seventeen year old boy named Junhong?” Youngjae nodded again. “Well, it turns out that your friend Junhong and Yongguk's boyfriend Junhong are the same people,”

“What? My baby boy has a boyfriend?” Youngjae's eyes widened. He sounded like a protective umma.

“Yes, but don't worry; Yongguk hyung treats Zelo like royalty. He wouldn't hurt him. They really love each other,”

“O-Okay. I'm just glad he's happy now,”

“Anyway, so I met Junhong the other week and I was drawing a picture of you. He saw it and told me I was drawing his hyung. He took me to see you,”

“Me?” Youngjae's frown deepened. “Do you mean my... my grave?”

“No!” Daehyun shook his head, “No Youngjae, that's the thing! You aren't dead!”

“Wh-What?” Youngjae asked. He was white as a ghost.

“Jae Jae,  _you're_  the one in hospital. You're in a coma. There's still a chance for you to wake up,”

“There is?” his eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas.

“There is. You can wake up and we can be together,” he said excitedly, but that excitement soon went away when he remembered what the doctor said. “But you have to do it soon, Youngjae. The doctor said that they'll have to take you off life support soon if you don't wake up,”

Youngjae was quiet as he tried to process all of this information.

His best friend was dating his boyfriend's best friend. He isn't dead, he's in a coma. He  _could_  be dead soon if he doesn't wake up. He could wake up. He could have a second shot at life. He could have a life with Daehyun.

“I'll try, Dae,” he whispered, “I'll try to wake up for you,” Daehyun smiled. “And Dae?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I... I love you,”

Daehyun couldn't stop the tears as he smiled widely. Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out.

“I love you too, angel,” Daehyun whispered, leaning in to capture the younger's lips in a kiss.

If there was one thing Daehyun knew for sure, it was that he would never, ever, get enough of Youngjae. Daehyun had missed kissing him so much. Youngjae was his oxygen. Without him, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

Youngjae broke the kiss to place open-mouthed kisses along Daehyun's neck, leading up to his earlobe. He licked and nibbled Dae's ear seductively, making Daehyun moan in delight.

“How about, just for tonight, we forget about Yongguk and Junhong, and only think about us?” he whispered lowly into Dae's ear.

Daehyun felt his fingers tingle. That was a sign that he was going to wake up soon.

“I’d love to, but I'm going to wake up at any second,” his voice was quiet.

“What? No, you can't! You can't leave me again!”

“Youngjae,” Daehyun gripped both of his hands tightly, “come with me,”

He didn't get to hear Youngjae's reply as he felt himself fading away.

~~~~~~

“No, Jae!” Daehyun shouted as he sat up harshly. He was gasping for air as he looked around the dull hospital room.

“Daehyun? What's wrong?” Yongguk asked groggily. He and Zelo got special permission to stay here for the night.

Daehyun looked at the clock.

**2:33am**

“I saw him! I dreamt and I saw him! I told him he was in a coma and he said he'd try and wake up!” Daehyun exclaimed, not caring about the time.

Yongguk and Junhong glanced at each other sadly. They still weren't quite sure what to believe about Dae's dreams and they didn't want to get their hopes up.

Daehyun saw the look, but he ignored it. He took Youngjae's hands and kissed both of them.

“Come on, Jae baby,” he whispered, ignoring the other two people in the room. “Come on, wake up for me. You can do it. Come on,”

Nothing was heard but the sound of the life-support machine. Everyone was holding their breaths waiting for something to happen.

And it did.

Youngjae's hand squeezed Daehyun's and slowly, his eyes fluttered open.


	18. Chapter 18

Youngjae blinked a few times before he recognised his surroundings. He was in a hospital. Beside his bed, Junhong was sitting on a man's lap and there was a guy holding his hand. The guy seemed so familiar, but Youngjae couldn't put his finger on it.

Then it hit him like a tonne of bricks.

It was the guy he'd been dreaming about! It was him! Youngjae couldn't believe it, he's real! Daehyun was here!

“Youngjae?” Daehyun's soft voice brought Youngjae's attention back to the real world.

“H-Hi D-Dae,” his voice was croaky from lack of use, but that didn't stop the smile that crossed Daehyun's face before he tackled Youngjae in a bear hug.

A doctor suddenly came into the room with a security guard.

“What's going on? I heard shouting,” the doctor said. His eyes widened when they landed on the boys embracing each other. He cleared his throat, making them jump apart. “Mr Yoo, I see you're awake,” he shook his head towards the security guard, signalling that everything was alright and he could leave.

“Yeah,” Youngjae nodded slightly, stopping when he got a head-spin.

“Well that's excellent, but I still need to do a few tests to make sure there's no other damage,”

“That's fine,”

The doctor walked up to Youngjae and began to shine a bright light into each eye.

“Well, you don't seem to have a concussion. What's the last thing you remember?”

“...Cutting,” he said quietly. The doctor nodded.

“Well, you seem to be fine, given the situation,” the doctor informed him. “I'll need you to stay here for a few more nights, but then you're free to go,”

“Thank you, doctor,” Youngjae smiled weakly at the doctor before he left.

Daehyun pulled Youngjae back into his arms.

“Oh my god, you're okay!” he sobbed into Youngjae's shoulder. “I can't believe it, baby, you're really here!”

Youngjae stiffened in Daehyun's arms and Daehyun noticed. Slowly he pulled back, his brow furrowed in confusion. Did he do something wrong?

“What is it, Jae?”

“D-Daehyun, I n-need you t-to l-l-leave,”

Daehyun's heart stopped in his chest as one sentence crushed the perfect future he'd already built in his mind.

“What?”

“Please,” Youngjae looked away, not wanting to see the hurt look in Daehyun's eyes.

“O-Okay,” Daehyun nodded and let go of Youngjae.

He left the room without as much as a backwards glance.

Zelo was staring at Youngjae, a mixture of shock and elation on his face.

“I'm going to go talk to Dae,” Yongguk said, thinking it would be best to let Youngjae and Zelo talk. He kissed Junhong on the cheek and smiled kindly at Youngjae before leaving to find his best friend.

“Youngjae hyung I can't believe you're awake!” Junhong threw his arms around his friend.

“I'm sorry Zelo! I'm so, so sorry! Please forgive me,”

Junhong laughed through his tears.

“I already have, pabo,” he slapped Youngjae on the arm playfully. “But, please,  _never_  do that again,”

“I won't. I promise,” Youngjae nodded. “Anyway, how've you been?”

“Will it make me a terrible friend if I say – apart from you being in a coma – I’ve been amazing?”

“Of course not! I didn't want you to be sad because of me anyway,” Youngjae smiled, “Now, tell me about this amazingness,”

“Well, as you probably noticed, I have a boyfriend,” Zelo blushed and bit his lip.

“Yeah, Yongguk right? Daehyun told me about him,” Youngjae's felt a pain in his chest as he mentioned Daehyun.

“Wait, so you do remember Daehyun hyung?” Zelo asked happily.

“Y-Yeah, I do,”

“So, why'd you send him away?”

“That doesn't matter. Right now, we're talking about you,”

That's all it took for Zelo to get back into talking about Yongguk.

At first, he was afraid Youngjae wouldn't approve because of the age gap, but he did. He told him about all their cafe meetings before their confessions, all their late-night talks, the I-love-yous, he even told Youngjae that Yongguk had asked him to move in with him.

Youngjae missed Junhong so much; more than anything else in the world. Now that things were looking up for Youngjae, at least a little bit, he couldn't even remember why he felt so low he'd leave his best friend in the first place. Thinking back on his suicide attempt, he feels stupid. Things are never so bad they can't get better.

“Now that I’ve filled you in on me, are you going to tell me about you and Daehyun hyung?” Zelo smiled knowingly.

“What do you wanna know?” Youngjae asked. He didn't really want to talk about it, but Junhong was his best friend.

“Everything,” Zelo shrugged. “From the start,”

So Youngjae told him. He told him about how he was scared and lost and (for some reason) all alone in a forest. Then, out of nowhere, Daehyun showed up. And he  _continued_  to just show up at random times until eventually, he took up a special place in Youngjae's heart. Youngjae fell so deeply in love with him, even though he knew they couldn't be together. Youngjae was dead – at least, he thought he was. He told Zelo about their first time and how Daehyun was so careful and treated him with so much care, like he was made out of fine china and would break if Daehyun pressed too hard. He told him about the weeks he spent alone, in stormy weather, hoping and wishing for Daehyun to come and save him. And finally, he told him about when Daehyun  _did_ come and save him. How Daehyun asked Youngjae to go back with him. Back to the real world, back to Daehyun.

“So…You do love him?”

“More than anything,” he was smiling, but it wasn't a happy smile.

“So why'd you ask him to leave?”

Youngjae sighed, thinking about how to explain what he was feeling.

“The Daehyun I fell in love with... How do I know he's the same in real life? I'm broken, Zelo. He may be happy I'm here  _for now_ , but what happens when he realises I'm not perfect. When he finally wakes up from this dream he's in and he sees that I'm damaged beyond repair,”

“That's the thing, Youngjae,” Zelo squeezed his friend's shoulder comfortingly, “he's awake  _now_. Both of you are! And he loves you, Jae. He really does. He's been here ever since he found out. He's been a mess without you,”

“I'm just scared,” he whispered, looking down at his hands. “I thought he was a dream. Hell, I thought I was dead. I didn't expect to wake up from a coma with him  _here_ , holding my hand and acting like everything is fine,”

“He thought you were a dream too. You don't even know how happy he was when he found out you were a real person,” Zelo told him. He wanted his hyungs together. He wanted them happy.

His next sentence was so small. So insecure and uncertain.

“I don't want to get hurt,”

“Daehyun hyung won't hurt you, Youngjae,”

Zelo sounded so sure and Youngjae hoped more than anything he was right.

Youngjae knew that if he chose to be with Daehyun it would be a risk, he just wasn’t sure it was a risk that – especially in his current condition – he could afford to take.


	19. Chapter 19

Thursday morning, and Daehyun was knocking on the door to Youngjae's room the moment the clock stuck 9:00am and visiting hours began. He figured that, since Youngjae didn't want him there, he shouldn't abuse his privileges of staying there past visiting hours. Although, just because Youngjae didn't want him there didn't mean Daehyun wouldn't come back. No. He'll never give up on Youngjae. Youngjae is absolutely perfect, in Daehyun's opinion, and he planned to show him that. With Youngjae, Daehyun finally found something he'd been looking for forever and he wasn't about to give that up. He made Youngjae fall in love with him once, he can do it again.

“Come in,” Youngjae called upon hearing a knock at the door. He knew it was either Daehyun or Junhong and Yongguk. The doctor would only knock once before he walked I without waiting for a reply and the nurses didn't knock. Part of him hoped it was Daehyun. It turns out that the issue of not being able to sleep without Daehyun with him was carried into the real world too. He missed Dae, more than words could ever describe, but how did he know Daehyun wouldn't hurt him like his parents and everyone else had done? The other, smaller, part of him hoped it wasn't Daehyun. He was afraid that if Daehyun turned up his resolve would crumble and he'd let Daehyun in, leaving himself open to disappointment.

Of course, it was Daehyun.

The Busan boy walked in holding a large bunch of yellow roses in front of his face, hiding behind them in case Youngjae  _really_  didn't want to see him. When he heard Youngjae's sweet laugh, he took it as his cue to show his face. Like every time he saw Youngjae, he had a goofy smile on his face.

“I, uh, I was going to get you red roses, but I thought that was a bit cliché,” Daehyun explained placing the roses flowers in the vase beside Jae's hospital bed, “And then I saw these roses, and I know they aren't the exact shade of yellow we had in the field, but they were the closest things to it. The second time I ever saw you, you were sitting in the middle of our field and you were playing with this single yellow rose. You looked so small and innocent, and even though I had no idea who you were, I thought you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen in my life,”

“Dae, I-”

Daehyun cut him off.

“You don't have to say anything,” he gave Youngjae a tight-lipped smile. He knew he wouldn't have liked what Youngjae was about to say. “How are you feeling?”

Youngjae sighed.

“I have a bit of a headache,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “the doctor keeps checking on me to make sure I haven't had any sudden amnesia, my scars are stinging a little and, well...”

“Well what?” Daehyun urged Youngjae to tell him.

Youngjae looked down at the white hospital sheets as he replied quietly.

“Let's just say my wrists are getting a little itchy,”

Daehyun could tell he was ashamed, but he shouldn't be. Something like this doesn't just go away overnight. Even if you don't want to hurt yourself again, you still feel the need to. That's one of the reasons so many people self-harm. It's like cigarettes; it’s bad for you and you don't particularly want it, but the need for it is always there. It's addictive and Daehyun didn't expect Youngjae to just  _be_  okay because he was awake. Just because he was alive didn't mean all of his problems just went away. But that was why Daehyun was here; to help him move on from his past and look toward his future – one that hopefully included Daehyun as more than a friend.

“It's alright,” Daehyun took a chance and gripped Youngjae's hand. The younger didn’t pull away. “That's why you have me bab-” Daehyun managed to catch himself before he called Youngjae 'baby'. He didn't want to freak the other out as he didn't exactly know where they stood in their so-called relationship, “I'll be here to help you all the way. Whenever you feel the urge to self-harm, call me and I’ll come running straight to you, okay? Even if it  _is_  just as a friend. I’ll be there to help you and remind you how amazing you are and that a life without you isn't one that I want. This probably isn't the right thing to say at the moment, but I love you Youngjae. I’m so damn in love with you I can't think. I don't know what's going on with us or what you even remember of the dreams, but what I do know is that I love you and once upon a time, you loved me,”

Youngjae's eyes were brimming with tears.

What Youngjae wants to say is; “I love you too. I’ve loved you for a long time, I was just too scared to admit it. Whenever I'm down, you're the only one I  _want_ to call and whenever I imagine a future where I'm happy, it’s with you.”

But something in his mind won't let him. There's still that small, nagging voice that's telling him not to trust Daehyun; that he'll only get hurt. It's the voice that's always been with Youngjae, and so he listens to it.

So he just says; “everything,”

Daehyun faltered. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

“What?”

“Everything,” Youngjae just looks stoically ahead as he answers. “I remember everything,”

“Wait, so if you remember everything, you remember  _me_ , why did you ask me to leave? Youngjae you know how I feel about you,”

“No I don't,” he finally turned to look Daehyun in the eye. “I know how you felt about me in my dreams, but that's just it; they were dreams. Our minds warp things when we dream. How do I know that my mind didn't just warp your true feelings into the ones I wanted you to feel for me? I don't doubt that you care about me as a friend, but as more than that? I don't know. All I know is that I don't  _really_  know you,”

Daehyun looked like someone had just slapped him right across the face. That look was gone in an instant and replaced by determination.

“What do I need to do to prove it? Tell me; I’ll do anything,”

“If you need to ask me how to prove it, then you obviously don't love me enough,”

Then, without a warning, Daehyun took two steps towards Youngjae's bed and claimed his lips in a passionate kiss. Youngjae surrendered quickly, responding to the kiss with equal fervour. Daehyun poured all of his feelings towards Youngjae into that one kiss and, like every time they kissed, he felt an electric shock run down his spine. He only broke the kiss when he felt two soft hands reach up to his chest and push lightly.

It was Youngjae's way of asking Daehyun to stop kissing him, because he knew no matter how hard he tried, he could never stop himself when it comes to Daehyun.

“Now tell me you don't feel that,” Daehyun said, his breath was shaky and he could feel the tears running down his face. He would be embarrassed about crying, if only Youngjae wasn't crying too. “Each time I kiss you, I feel a spark so strong it's like I’ve stuck my hand in an electric socket. I feel our connection, Jae. Now tell me you don't. Tell me you don't feel anything for me and I’ll leave you alone for good,”

For Daehyun to leave him for good was the last thing Youngjae wanted.

“I'm not saying I don't feel anything for you, you moron!” Youngjae screamed, his face was wet with tears that Daehyun hated being the cause of, “Jesus  _fucking_ Christ, are you that god damn  _stupid,_  Jung Daehyun, that you can't see I'm in love with you too?!”

Daehyun was shocked. Youngjae, his sweet, innocent, Youngjae, was swearing like a sailor and confessing his love for Dae. Although it was a little inappropriate at this specific time, Daehyun couldn't help but note how insanely hot he found it when Youngjae swore.

“Then what  _are_  you saying? If you love me, and I love you, I don't see what the problem is,” Dae said. Even he was surprised at how calm he sounded when on the inside all he wanted to do was scream and cry and beg Youngjae to be with him.

“I'm saying it was  _easy_  to love you when I thought I was dead and you weren't real and there was no way for us to be together,” Youngjae was no longer shouting, but his voice was already scratchy from the screaming he just did.

“Youngjae, I was prepared to kill myself to be with you. If that's what I needed to do to be with you, I was ready to do it. All I was waiting for was for you to ask,”

Youngjae shook his head, not bothering to wipe his tears away because he knew they'd just keep coming.

“I would not have ever asked that,” he whispered.

“I know,” Daehyun huffed a short laugh, “it's one of the reasons I love you so much,”

Youngjae looked away.

“I get that you need to think about some things, so I’ll give you some time,” Daehyun said and walked to the door.

Youngjae wanted to stop him, but he couldn't seem to find the words.

His hand was on the knob and one foot was out the door when he turned back to Youngjae and said seriously; “I'm not giving up, Yoo Youngjae. As long as I know you still love me and there's even a little hope that we can be together, I'm not giving up,”

And just like that, he was gone.

And the minute that door closed, Youngjae hid his face in his hands and cried.


	20. Chapter 20

When Daehyun said he would give Youngjae some time, the younger didn't realise that 'time' meant one day. Saturday, 11:00am, two hours after visiting hours began, Daehyun came rushing into the hospital room like he was on speed. He looked up frantically and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Youngjae still sitting in his hospital bed, Junhong and Yongguk at his bedside.

“Um, Dae, are you okay?” Yongguk asked, noting Daehyun's frantic look.

“I-I just...” he sputtered, trying to meet Youngjae's gaze but the boy refused to look directly at Dae.

“I called him,” Junhong said, giving Youngjae's hand a squeeze. Youngjae shot him a look, one Daehyun could only interpret as saying 'why the hell would you do that?’

“I'm sorry,” Daehyun muttered, looking down at his shoes. “Look, Youngjae, if you want me to leave-”

“No,” he said, finally looking up at Daehyun. “I... We need to talk about some things, anyway,”

The two boys stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Daehyun could've stayed like that for the rest of his life; staring into Youngjae's pretty brown eyes. The elder couldn't wait until the day he could wake up to those eyes staring back at him with as much love as they held for him when they were in their dream.

Yongguk cleared his throat.

“Uh, I think Junhong and I need to go and sign the papers for our house, right Junhongie?” he said. His deep voice never failed to send a shiver of pleasure down Junhong's spine and a blush rise to his cheeks.

“Y-Yeah,” he nodded. He pulled Youngjae into an awkward hug before stepping back and grabbing Yongguk's hand. “Bye Daehyun hyung,”

“Good luck, Dae,” Yongguk stopped to give Daehyun an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder before Zelo dragged him away. He may be only seventeen, but he was smart enough to know that Daehyun and Youngjae had to talk rationally.

Besides, he knew he did the right thing by calling Daehyun. Youngjae was going to need him; especially now.

The door shut with a small  _click_. Daehyun hesitantly went over to Youngjae's bedside.

“May I?” he gestured to the chair Junhong was previously occupying. Youngjae nodded. Daehyun sighed, trying to gather his thoughts before speaking. “I'm sorry if you don't want me here, or...or if you need more time, but I – Zelo called me, he told me you were going home today. Is that true?”

Youngjae paled. Daehyun watched as his eyes grew wide. It was as if he were an eight year old boy instead of the eighteen year old he was.

“Yeah, it is,” he sounded scared. Daehyun wanted to hug him and kiss him until he forgot the world around him and was no longer scared.

“You should have told me.” Daehyun said in a hurt tone. “I should have heard it from  _you_ , not from Zelo,”

“It isn't your problem, Dae,” Youngjae shook his head sadly.

“Not my-” Daehyun didn't sound angry or offended, like Youngjae was expecting. He just sounded tired and sad...broken.

He broke Jung Daehyun, and that hurt the younger more than anything.

“Youngjae,” he said after a long silence. “If I haven't convinced you by now that I care about you, I don't know how I will. But for you to say that you going back to your abusive parents after what you've been through isn't my problem is just downright stupid. I mean, how can you say that? After everything we... After I helped you through so much. I thought we were closer than that. I thought I meant more to you than that,”

“You do, Dae. You mean everything to me,” Youngjae said softly, there was so much honesty in his eyes. “And I know you care, okay? I know you love me but, I mean, what was the point of telling you? You'd just worry more and you've wasted enough of your time worrying about me. It's not like there's anything you can do about it anyway,”

“Yes, there is,” Daehyun said firmly. “You're coming home with me,”

“What?” Youngjae said, completely shocked. “I can't do that,”

“Yes you can, and you will. You're moving in with me, even if it's just as friends for now. Jae Jae, I'm not letting you go back to your parents. I'm to letting them hurt you again. If you tried to...”

He hesitated for a second before he gently cupped Youngjae's face and kissed him sweetly. Youngjae was too surprised to respond, but it didn't matter because the kiss was over in a matter of seconds. When Dae pulled back, he kept his hand on Youngjae's cheek, his thumb caressing the smooth cheekbone. They were still so close that Youngjae could feel the Busan boy's breath mixing in with his.

“If you tried a second time and you succeeded, I don't know what I’d do. I need you,”

Youngjae placed his hand atop of Daehyun's.

“I know and I – I need you too, more than you know, Dae,”

“So let me help you. Come home with me, okay? I swear, just as friends. You can stay in my room and I can seep on the couch until Yongguk and Junhong have moved out. I can't let you go back to living with those people,”

Youngjae nodded, blinking back tears that were threatening to spill over.

“Okay, yes, I’ll live with you,” Youngjae smiled. “On one condition,”

“Anything, Jae. I’ll do anything; you know that,”

“I know. I’ll stay with you, Dae, but I don't want to be your friend,”

Daehyun's heart stopped.

“O-Okay. Well,” cleared his throat, awkwardly trying to push back the sobs that were trying to rise in his throat. Youngjae made his choice; Daehyun had to accept it. “I'm sure Yongguk and Zelo wouldn't mind if you stay with them when their house is ready,”

Daehyun stepped away, but Youngjae grabbed his hand.

“No, Dae, that's not what I meant,” Youngjae looked down as his face turned red. “I mean I don't want to be  _just_  friends. I want to be more. I know I’ve been stupid; trying to ignore my feelings and deny yours, but I don't want to do that anymore. You make me so happy, Dae. I know I’ve caused so much hurt between us that didn't need to be there but I don't want to waste any more time apart, that I could be spending with you. So, I’d really love to give this – us – a try,” Youngjae's big, brown doe eyes looked up at Daehyun through thick lashes as he added shyly; “that is, if you still want me, of course,”

Daehyun leaned in, his forehead pressed against Youngjae's. Their breath mixing together.

In a low voice, thick with love and laced with lust, he whispered “I'll always want you,”

And with that, he closed the gap between them once more. His tongue pried open Youngjae's lips with ease, the warm muscle tracing the roof of his mouth. Youngjae's hands flew up, grabbing fistfuls of Daehyun's shirt to pull him closer. The elder slid his hands around Youngjae's waist, his fingers toying with one of the bows at the back of his blue hospital gown. With a swift flick of his wrist, the string came undone, leaving the gown open enough for Daehyun to slip his hand underneath. Daehyun couldn't even explain how much he'd missed feeling the smooth skin underneath his fingertips. Daehyun detached his lips from Youngjae's and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Youngjae's pulse point, knowing it would result in one of the soft moans he loves hearing from the younger. Youngjae tilted his head back, allowing Daehyun more access to the sweet spot he was sucking on.

He pulled back to look at the mark he had made on Youngjae's neck. He smiled to himself, feeling satisfied. Now everyone would know that Youngjae was his, therefore  _not_  available.

“When can we get outta here?” Daehyun whispered into Youngjae's ear, his low voice sending chills of desire all throughout the younger's body.

“Whenever,” Youngjae breathed out, still coming down from his high. “Junhong brought me a bag of clothes and things that I’ll need. I was going to spend the night at Jongup's,”

“Yeah, well not anymore,” Daehyun smiled, pecked Youngjae's cheek and then moved away from the bed.

Youngjae immediately missed the warmth of Daehyun's hand rubbing small circles on his back.

“Come on Jae Jae, get dressed,” Daehyun pulled out a pair of grey skinny jeans and a navy blue graphic tee out of the bag and passed them to Youngjae. The Youngjae got out of the bed and stood there awkwardly. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“Could you please, um, turn around?” the younger asked, his face a deep shade of red.

“What, why?” Dae stepped closer, placing his hands lightly on Youngjae's hips. He smirked and said; “it's not like I haven't seen it before,”

Youngjae blushed redder than Daehyun had ever seen him blush.

“Yeah, but, still...” he trailed off but Daehyun got the picture. Youngjae was still insecure about his body. Daehyun didn't mind, though. He would wait as long as his Jae needed.

“Okay, okay,” he pecked Youngjae's soft lips (what, it's a serious addiction) and then stepped away again. “I guess it's probably better I don't look. We both know how I get when I see your body and, well, it might be a little awkward if I get hard in a hospital,”

“Y-Yah! Jung Daehyun you perv,”

“I'm sorry baby, you're just too sexy and I can't help myself,”

Youngjae rolled his eyes, his face going back to its regular hue. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just turn around and let me get dressed,”

Daehyun did as he was told and resisted the urge to look back and peek...and kiss him...and shove him against a wall and-

“Done,” Youngjae said, slinging his back pack over his shoulder.

“Then let's go,” Daehyun grabbed Youngjae's hand and led him out to the parking lot. “You can put your bag in the back,”

Youngjae did so and got in the front seat of Daehyun's car. Daehyun had one hand on the steering wheel, the other one gripped Jae's hand tightly. The whole drive, he didn't let go.

“Why are we stopping?” Youngjae asked, a cute frown on his face.

“I'm taking you out,” Daehyun smiled. “There's a little restaurant just down the road here. I know it's only lunch time, but I couldn't wait to take you on a real date,” this time, it was Daehyun blushing.

“Dae, I appreciate it, I really do,” Youngjae said, leaning across the seat to kiss Daehyun.

“But?” Daehyun thought his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

Didn't Youngjae say he wanted to be with Daehyun?

“ _But_  I just got out of hospital and...I kinda want to spend some time with you while we're not surrounded by a bunch of other people in a busy restaurant. Why don't we just go get some ice cream and hang out at the park or something?”

Daehyun smiled widely and gave Youngjae a quick kiss. He really couldn't get enough of that boy.

“ _You_  are absolutely perfect,”

The two of them did just that. They walked hand in hand down to the ice cream parlour, to caring who was watching and ignoring the dirty looks they got from strangers on the street.

“ _Oh. My. God._ ” Daehyun stared, shell-shocked, at the range of ice cream flavours. A broad grin was on his face when he turned to look at Youngjae.

“What, Dae, what is it?” Youngjae asked.

His eyes were shining with excitement as he uttered his ext sentence.

“There's cheesecake flavour ice cream!”

Youngjae looked a little confused.

“I take it you like cheesecake?” he asked unsurely.

Daehyun looked more than offended.

“Like it? Are you kidding me?! It's the best tasting thing since  _you_!” he said a little too loudly for Youngjae's liking.

“Yah!” Youngjae smacked Daehyun's arm. He shot the ice cream man an apologetic look. “Say that a little louder next time, I don't quite think everyone in Australia heard you!”

“What? I can't help it if you taste like cotton candy and I like seeing you blush,” Daehyun was leaning in closer to whisper it into Youngjae's ear and his hand that was around the younger's waist crept down to softly pinch his backside, earning a quiet yelp and – to Daehyun's delight – a bright red face from Youngjae.

Youngjae coughed awkwardly, noting the uncomfortable look the ice cream man was giving them.

“Uh, I’ll get a cookies and cream; one scoop, please,” Youngjae ordered, ignoring the hand that was lightly sneaking its way under the hem of his shirt to tenderly caress the skin there.

“Are you sure you only want a single scoop? You can get whatever you want, baby, I'm buying,” Daehyun said.

“Dae, you don't have to pay for me, I do have some money. It's not a lot but-”

Daehyun shut him up with a kiss.

“Let me spoil you, Youngjae,” Daehyun said. Youngjae nodded, once again, going red. “So, single scoop, double scoop?”

“Still single, I’m afraid if I eat too much I’ll vomit. It's been a while since I've eaten anything,” he shrugged.

“Okay, if that's what my angel wants,” Daehyun turned back to the man. “I'll get a double scoop cheesecake flavour,”

“Is that all?” the ice cream man asked. Daehyun nodded and handed him the money, telling him to keep the change.

Once they got their ice cream, Daehyun led them to the park. They sat down at one of the benches. They were sitting so close together that Youngjae was nearly on Daehyun's lap, not that Daehyun would've minded if he was.

“Oh, Jae, you've got a bit of ice cream on your face,” Daehyun said.

“Oh, oops, where?” Youngjae started wiping aimlessly at his face. Daehyun caught his wrist and pulled him closer.

“Right here,” he said and brought his lips to Youngjae's. The kiss tasted like cheesecake ice cream and Youngjae, making Daehyun lose his mind.

“Mmm,” he hummed once the kiss was over. “Cheesecake and Youngjae; it's like a real life wet dream,”

“Is sex all you think about?” Youngjae asked, his signature blush on his face.

“Well, sex with you; pretty much,” Dae shrugged.

“W-Why?”

“You really have no idea, do you?” Daehyun said, a deep look of admiration in his eyes.

“No idea about what?”

Daehyun took Youngjae's ice cream cup and put them both on the table.

“You may not see it but I do. When you blush, I’ve never seen anything more adorable and I just want to pinch your cute little cheeks. Your eyes are the prettiest things I've seen in my life. Your intelligence; totally hot. You, Yoo Youngjae, are the sexiest person I've seen in my life and you have no idea what you do to me,”

“You think it's hot that I'm smart?” he asked in a small voice. Daehyun just nodded with a sheepish smile. “No one's ever thought that before,”

“Good,” he wrapped an arm around Youngjae's shoulders and pulled him close. “You're all mine and anyone else who looks at you even half the way I do is getting castrated,”

Youngjae rolled his eyes. “Don't worry, Dae. No one looks at me the way you do,”

“You underestimate how amazing you are,”

“No. You just overestimate it,”

Daehyun shook his head. It may take time, but he'll get Youngjae to see himself in the same light Daehyun sees him.

“Come on, baby, it's probably about time we get home,” Daehyun tugged Youngjae's hand, making him stand up. Dae passed him back his ice cream and they walked back to the car.

“So, any apartment rules I need to know about?” Youngjae asked as they drove back to Daehyun's apartment. “I don't want to cross any boundaries,”

“You won't,” Dae assured him. “It's your apartment too now,”

Youngjae smiled, his heart pounding in his chest. For the first time in a long time he had something he'd wanted so much; a place to call home and someone to love, who loved him back.


	21. Chapter 21

“Congratulations!” the group shouted as Yongguk popped open the champagne.

It was Yongguk and Junhong's official house-warming party. It was a relatively small affair; only nine people in total. Yongguk and Junhong were there, obviously, along with Daehyun and Youngjae. The couple had invited Mrs Moon and Jongup, but surprising everyone – and making a great sense of relief wash over Yongguk – Jongup had brought a date; a girl from school named Park Jihae. This disappointed only one person – Kim Himchan, Yongguk's ex-landlord, who had his eye on the young boy. He got over it soon enough, though and was currently flirting with the last, but not by any means least, member of the party, Yongguk's twin brother Yongnam.

They drank (with the exception of Junhong, Jongup and Jihae, of course) and danced (with the exception of Youngjae) and talked and shared first-house horror stories with Mrs Moon, Yongnam and Himchan. The night went off without a hitch for everyone. Mrs Moon left after an hour or so. Yongnam left next – bringing Himchan with him.

“Well,” Daehyun said as they watched the pair go, “gotta say, I didn't see that coming.” Yongguk nodded in agreement. “I didn't even know Yongnam was into guys,”

Yongguk shrugged. “I don't really think he has a specific type. If he likes someone, he goes for it,”

“Good for him,” Daehyun said. “Everyone deserves to be happy.”

No one missed the dreamy gaze Daehyun had as he watched Youngjae chatting away with Jihae.

Jongup and Jihae left next – something about having a date to go on. Yongguk thanked them for coming and Zelo walked them to the door.

“It was really nice to meet you, Jihae,” he said with a smile.

“You too, Junhong. Jonguppie oppa talked about you a lot, so it was nice to finally meet the face behind the stories,” she smiled brightly and then turned to Jongup. “I'll go wait in the car,”

“Okay,” he smiled at her. When he looked back, Junhong was staring at him with a knowing smile.

“You really like her, don't you?” he asked. Jongup bit his lip and nodded shyly. “I could tell,”

“What about you? Have you told Yongguk about what you have planned tonight?”

Zelo's mouth went dry as he thought of it.

“Not yet. Jongup hyung, I'm really nervous!” he whispered anxiously.

“Why?” Jongup whispered back, leaning in a little closer so no one would hear.

“What if I screw up? What if I'm not good? What if-”

“Zelo! I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You could have a  _tentacle_  down there and you'd still rock his world,”

Zelo went bright red and stammered at a complete loss for words.

“M-Moon Jongup!”

Jongup shrugged casually. “I'm just saying,”

Zelo shook his head. “I'll call you sometime tomorrow,” Jongup nodded. “Have fun on your date,”

With one more bright smile, Jongup left.

Zelo, once his face had returned to its normal colour, made his way back to his boyfriend. Choosing to ignore the fact that Yongguk was in the middle of a conversation with Youngjae and Daehyun, he walked up to his boyfriend and kissed him, quickly and swiftly on the lips. Yongguk paused, a surprised smile etching onto his face.

“What was that for?” he asked, gliding his thumb across the smooth, perfect skin of Junhong's cheek.

“I love you,” he said quietly, searching Yongguk's eyes, “you know that, right?”

Yongguk smiled and swooped down to meet Junhong's lips with his own. A forced cough made him remember there were other people there. Yongguk turned back to Youngjae and Daehyun.

“Um, guys, not to be rude or anything, but maybe you should go now? I’d kind of like some alone time with my boyfriend,” he suggested.

“Thank god!” Daehyun sighed. They all shot him a what-the-hell look. “No offence, but I’ve been wanting to get Youngjae alone for the past  _hour_ ,” he explained.

“Um,” Youngjae said, a little embarrassed, “I guess we'll be going then. Thanks for having us; it's been a great party,”

“Yeah, see ya guys!” Daehyun said and then he grabbed Youngjae by the hand and dragged him out the door.

Yongguk chuckled as he watched his best friend leave.

“Those two,” Yongguk sighed, “I don't think they'll ever get out of the honeymoon stage,”

And just like that, Junhong lost all of his previous confidence. Yongguk seemed to notice the crestfallen look on his boyfriend's face.

“Baby, what's wrong?” he asked.

Zelo shook his head. “Nothing, I just... it's... I want... God! This is so embarrassing!”

Junhong wasn't one-hundred percent positive as to  _why_  he was so nervous. He'd had this all planned out; after the party was over, he would tell Yongguk he was ready to do  _it_. Yongguk would (constantly) ask if he was sure to which Zelo would just shut him up with multiple kisses. He'd prepared for this. He'd even watched numerous videos to try and get better at blow jobs just for Yongguk! Hell, he'd even talked to Youngjae about it! That was one of the most awkward conversations he's had  _in his whole life_. He was ready for this, and yet, he felt like hiding under his (and Yongguk's shared) bed and never coming out.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Yongguk stepped closer. Zelo was acutely aware of how close they were. He could feel Yongguk's soft breathing on his face. Junhong wanted, more than anything, to just reach up and kiss him. And he knew he could, if he wasn't so scared of how Yongguk was going to react to what he said next.

Hiding his face in his palms, he mumbled something that Yongguk didn't quite understand.

“What was that, Junnie?” Yongguk asked. He gripped Junhong's wrists and softly peeled his hands away from his face. “Speak up, baby,”

Zelo took a deep breath.

“I said; I'm ready,” he said, looking straight into his boyfriend's eyes.

Yongguk's eyes widened. For so long, he's wanted this and now that he had it he didn't know what to do next. So, he settled for standing there with his mouth open like a mute.

“Uh... Gukkie? Are you going to say anything?” Zelo groaned loudly. “I knew I shouldn't have said anything! I can't help it, I'm cute not  _sexy_!”

Yongguk shook his head slowly and then smacked his lips onto Zelo's with so much passion the younger literally stumbled backwards. Teeth crashed against teeth, tongues clashed with tongues, and yet neither boy minded.

“ _You,_ are  _definitely_  sexy,” Yongguk slid his hands underneath Zelo's loose-fitting white top, running his hands up and down his sides and making the boy moan softly. “ _So_  sexy,” he reconnected their lips. “Wait,” Yongguk mumbled, pulling away only slightly, “are you sure,”

Zelo smirked, knowing this would happen, but rolled his eyes exaggeratedly anyway.

“ _Yes_ , I'm sure. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I love you, so I want to do this,” Zelo fisted Yongguk's t-shirt and pulled him back in for another deep kiss.

“Your wish is my command,” Yongguk whispered onto Zelo's lips before scooping him up in his arms. Zelo let out a small squawk as he was lifted into the air, but wrapped his legs around Yongguk's torso anyway. “I love you,” he said, his nose grazing against Yongguk's.

“I love you too,” Yongguk replied as he carried Junhong effortlessly into  _their_  bedroom.

• • • • • •

The moment they walked in the door, Daehyun had Youngjae wrapped in a strong embrace; Dae's lips on his pale neck, his arms wrapped tight around his sexual-frenzy-inducing body. Youngjae let out a cute giggle.

“Dae that tickles,” he muttered as Daehyun's fingertips moved lightly up Youngjae's back.

“Does it? My bad,” he said, although he made no move to stop.

“Okay Dae, stop, I need to make dinner,” Youngjae said with a half-hearted attempt to push Daehyun off of him.

“Mmm, food can wait, kissing can't,” he mumbled, his lips moving closer to Youngjae's.

“Did you just choose me over food?” Youngjae asked incredulously.

“Hmm,” Daehyun stopped, “I guess I did,” he shrugged. “I'd choose you over anything,”

Youngjae smiled and pecked Daehyun on the lips. He used Daehyun's moment of vulnerability to move away. Daehyun whined childishly, but Youngjae just shook his head and told him to occupy himself while he cooked.

Daehyun occupied himself by sitting at the table, where he had the perfect view of Youngjae. He just sat there, his head resting on his hand, as Youngjae got out all the ingredients and utensils he would need. He groaned a little when Youngjae had to reach up to the top shelf for the sauce, his shirt riding up and exposing a strip of smooth skin. He wolf-whistled when Youngjae bent down to pre-heat the oven. He sighed happily when Youngjae started humming to himself as he started chopping the vegetables.

“Are you just going to sit there and watch me the whole time?” Youngjae questioned, cocking an eyebrow and placing a hand on his hip.

Daehyun hummed his confirmation. Youngjae rolled his eyes.

“You know,” Daehyun said, “you're pretty hot when you act all housewife-ey,”

Youngjae just shook his head, ignoring Dae's comment and continuing to make dinner.

Daehyun set the table that night. Usually, with Yongguk, they didn't – but this wasn't Yongguk. This was Youngjae and Youngjae deserved the best. If that meant Daehyun had to waste precious time (time he could be spending watching Youngjae) to set the table and make things look pretty for his angel, so be it. He knew Youngjae never had 'normal' family dinners, which just made him want to do it even more.

_“You don't have to go to all the trouble of setting the table, Dae,” Youngjae told him._

_“It's fine, don't worry about it,” Daehyun said casually._

_“Did you ever set the table with Yongguk?”_

_“No, but I want to do it for you,” Dae told him honestly._

_“Why?” Youngjae frowned. “It's not like I come from the type of household that sits and eats meals together. Dad usually ate dinner in the living room while he drank and watched TV and I’d go and hide out in my room until he needed something,” Youngjae shrugged._

_Daehyun frowned and kissed his boyfriend. “I know that,” he ran his hands through Youngjae's soft hair “but I hope that one day, we'll have our own family, and I_ want _us to be the kind of family that eats dinner together every night and sets the table and all that regular-family stuff,”_

_“You... You want a family with me?” there was an obvious glimmer of hope in Youngjae's eyes._

_All Daehyun did was kiss him again._

After dinner, Youngjae decided to do the dishes. Daehyun didn't really want him doing all the housework and cleaning – he knew that's all he did for his parents – but Youngjae insisted. He said he liked the cooking, and that he didn't mind cleaning, and that he was especially happy to do it because it wasn't  _expected_  of him and he knew Daehyun wouldn't hit him or yell at him if he didn't.

Youngjae jumped a little when he felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around his stomach, but then relaxed into the touch, leaning back into Daehyun's embrace. Wordlessly, Daehyun pressed his lips to the side of Youngjae's neck, trailing kisses all the way down to his shoulder. Youngjae hummed, letting his head fall back onto Daehyun's shoulder. He removed the rubber gloves he was wearing and then spun around in Daehyun's arms so that he was facing the older boy. The two stood there like that for a minute, searching each other's eyes, before their lips met in the middle. Neither were quite sure who made the first move, but they both agreed that it didn't matter.

Youngjae let out a gasp when Daehyun's hand wandered down to his bottom and Daehyun squeezed the globe softly. Youngjae parted his lips eagerly, letting Daehyun explore his mouth for the nth time. A moan left Youngjae's lips as he tugged the hem of Daehyun's shirt. Daehyun got the message that Youngjae wanted it  _off. Now._  Daehyun happily complied. Youngjae pulled back and licked his lips at the sight of Daehyun's perfectly sculpted body.

' _And he's all mine_ ,' he thought happily. Youngjae thought he must've been a saint in a past life to deserve Daehyun.

“Your turn,” Dae whispered hungrily as he stripped Youngjae of his top. Youngjae had to physically stop himself from trying to cover his torso. Daehyun kissed every inch of Youngjae's exposed skin – like he always does – and then reconnected their lips. Daehyun's hands found the zipper on Youngjae's jeans and he swiftly removed them. They were still kissing as Youngjae attempted to kick his pants off of his ankles. He let out a yelp when Daehyun's hands gripped the underside of his thighs and wrapped them around his torso. Youngjae circled his arms around Daehyun's neck and Daehyun carried him out of the kitchen. It wasn't long until Youngjae found himself being laid down onto something soft.

“Why am I on the sofa?” he asked, panting.

“Bed was...” he paused to kiss the younger's collarbone “...too far away,”

No more words were spoken as we came together in a teeth-clashing kiss. One of Youngjae's hands were on the back of Dae's head deepening their kiss, while the other was the small of his back, pushing their bodies together.

They were both so lost in ecstasy that neither boy quite remembers exactly how long it took until their clothes were scattered all over the living room floor. Clad in nothing but their underwear, the two boys were a tangle of limbs. Daehyun leaned forward and just pulled Youngjae to him, holding the boy tight as if he could disappear at any second.

"I missed you  _so damn much,_  Jae Jae," Daehyun mumbled against his hair.

"Dae what are you talking about? I'm right here,"

Daehyun grabbed his face and kissed him.

“But for so long, you  _weren't_  here,” the elder boy was on the verge of tears, but so was Youngjae.

“I know,” Youngjae nodded, trying to blink away the tears that threatened to fall, “I missed you too, Daehyunnie. But I'm awake now. I'm healthy, and, we're together,  _finally_! And...” he looked up at Daehyun through his thick lashes, “we're alone. So tell me; why are we wasting our time talking?”

The rest of their clothing was off in mere seconds and Daehyun was rubbing his body against Youngjae's as he kissed his way along his angel's neck and down to his shoulder, gently nipping here and there. Their sensual moans and groans were the only noise filling the room.

“Uh,” Daehyun cleared his throat, “I haven't got any lube so you're going to have to suck,” Daehyun lifted two fingers up to Youngjae's lips, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

Youngjae took Dae's hand in his.

"Just do it. I need you inside me, Dae." he said.

Daehyun frowned and shook his head sternly. "It's been too long, and you've only done this once, Jae. I need to prepare you first."

"Please, Dae." Youngjae begged. He didn't want to have to wait any longer; they'd done enough waiting to last another lifetime.

“It'll hurt,”

“I know,”

With a deep breath, he lined himself up with Youngjae's entrance and pushed in slowly, determined not to hurt his boyfriend more than necessary. Youngjae grunted in slight pain while Daehyun moaned softly out of pleasure.

Youngjae's breath hitched and when Daehyun looked at him, his face softened.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so, so sorry," he muttered under his breath, one hand brushing through Youngjae's hair, the other interlocking with Youngjae's nimble fingers. “I won't move until you're ready,”

After a while he told Dae to move, which he did a little hesitantly. Youngjae clawed at his back with one hand, the other still clasped with Daehyun's. As Dae thrust into him, he kissed Youngjae's lips, neck, shoulder, any part of him he could reach. Youngjae knew that he would be sore the next day, but he didn’t care. Daehyun would be there with him; they were together and that was all that mattered.

He came deep inside of Youngjae, which caused him to come instantly without Dae even touching him. Daehyun hid his face in the crook of Youngjae's neck while they came down from their highs and tried to catch their breath. He pulled out of Jae and began pressing sloppy, tired kisses down his chest and trailed them down his stomach. He was kissing Youngjae's hips when he heard Youngjae call his name softly.

“Yes sweetie?”

“I love you,” Youngjae breathed out so softly Daehyun had to think about whether or not he imagined it.

Daehyun captured his lips in a heated kiss. Both boys were panting heavily when they broke apart.

“Well,” Daehyun said breathlessly, “I can cross that off my list of fantasies,” he kissed Youngjae again, never being able to get enough of the boy.

“You have a list?” Youngjae asked, slightly amused.

“Of course! There are so many to keep track of,” he replied, raking his eyes hungrily over Youngjae's exposed body. “Let's get started on the next one,”

“Calm down you sex-addict,” Youngjae teased.

“I'm not a sex-addict!” Daehyun placed his hand on his heart in mock hurt, “I'm a Youngjae-addict,” he stated proudly.

Youngjae rolled his eyes.

“I'm too tired for another round right now, Dae,” Youngjae said. A small smile crept up on his face. “Besides, we don't need to worry about when you're going to wake up anymore,”

Daehyun smiled too, realising Youngjae was right; they no longer had a time limit.

“You're right, Jae Jae,” Daehyun smiled and pecked Youngjae's soft lips. “We've got all the time in the world,”

And with that, Daehyun stood up and scooped Youngjae into his arms bridal-style (not caring that they were both still stark nude) and carried him to bed. He placed his angel carefully onto the bed – still afraid that Youngjae was fragile as porcelain and could break at any moment. Daehyun got under the covers and immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

Never in a million years would Youngjae have imagined himself happy. He had a perfect boyfriend and the best friend in the world. What more could he want? Youngjae knew the road ahead wouldn't always be as perfect as it was now, but that was okay, because he has Daehyun and, to him, that's all that matters.

“I love you,” Youngjae heard Daehyun murmur as sleep took over the Busan boy.

“I love you too,” Youngjae said, knowing no one could hear him but wanting to say it anyway.

And so, in the middle of a cold night in October, a once-lonely boy named Yoo Youngjae fell asleep in his boyfriend's warm embrace and knew he'd never be lonely again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, I wrote this when I was about 14-15 and originally posted it when I was 16. I apparently didn't know what editing was then, now I'm just too lazy and have too many WIPs to edit this right now. Maybe one day.


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